Enjoy our team's carefully selected Swim Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition.
The brunette came in first and the redhead second.
The blonde finally reached the shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and a drink she said, “I don’t want to complain, but I’m pretty sure those other two girls used their arms.”
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Ole and Lena are out at the lake, getting ready to put the boat in the water. Lena driving and Ole standing in the pickup bed.
The brakes fail as Lena’s backing the boat into the lake, and the truck submerges.
Lena swims out the open window, but Ole doesn’t come up for the longest time.
Finally, up pops Ole. Lena asks him, “What took you so long?”
Ole replies, “Oh, you know, that tailgate is hard to open!”
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The banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat.
The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?”
“Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”
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Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because every Juan that can jump, run, and swim is already in the U.S.
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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What’s the fastest speed at which a seahorse swims?
At a scallop.
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.”
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Why did Spider-Man decide to join the swim team?
Because he had webbed feet!
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What do you call a man who falls overboard and can’t swim?
Bob.
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Your mama so short she has to hold a sign up that says “Don’t spit, I can’t swim”.
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