Enjoy our team's carefully selected Soccer Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What do you call a striker playing a June match?
A spring forward.
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Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
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A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 14-year-olds.
On her first day, she comes to watch the kids playing soccer. She watches as they all get together and start playing.
However, she quickly notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
“Are you OK?” she says kindly.
“Yes,” he says.
“You can go and play with the other kids, you know,” she says encouragingly.
“It’s best I stay here,” he says.
“Why’s that, sweetie?” asks the compassionate teacher.
The boy gives her a weird look and says, “Because I’m the goalie.”
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I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a messi guy.
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A cargo airplane is transporting patients from a mental hospital.
The patients are going all crazy in the cargo, playing a soccer with an invisible ball.
The pilot has had enough of it, tells the copilot to guide the plane, and goes in the back to make them stop the noise.
They stop, the pilot returns to the cabin, but after 5 minutes, it starts all over again.
The pilot asks the copilot to give it a shot at calming the patients down.
The copilot goes in the back, the noise stops, and he returns to the cabin.
Half an hour later, the plane is quiet.
The pilot is impressed and asks the copilot how he did it.
The copilot replies, “I told them: Soccer is not allowed indoors. You have to take it outside.”
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Wife says to her husband: “Choose, either me or the soccer game!”
He responds: “Give me 90 minutes to think.”
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Two flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other, “You’d better pick up your game, Louie, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.”
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I’m thinking of taking up acting.
Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?
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My son played soccer in the mud all day.
He was a little Messi.
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Three soccer players—one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal—are lost in the desert.
They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what.
So the guy from Manchester says, “Well, since I’m from ManCHESTer, I’ll get the chest.
The player from Liverpool goes, “Well, in that case I'll eat the liver.
Then guy from ARSEnal says, “I’m not hungry...”
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