Enjoy our team's carefully selected Season Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Who changes the season when Summer is over?
No one, it happens Autumnatically.
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What is the difference between spring rolls and summer rolls?
Their seasoning.
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A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, “Hi, my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load.”
The trucker just ignores her, raises the window, and proceeds down the street as the light changes.
A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him.
Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, “Hi, my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load!”
The trucker shakes his head but apart from this, he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
At the fourth red light, the trucker jumps out of his truck and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.
The trucker says, “Hi, my name’s Steve, it’s winter in Canada, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
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Why didn’t the man want a spring mattress?
Because it was still winter.
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Why do doctors hate popular Instagram accounts that only post in the spring?
Because they’re seasonal influencers.
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So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him, “What do you want your last meal to be?”
“Strawberries,” he responds.
“But it’s winter. We can’t get strawberries until spring.”
“Eh... I’ll wait.”
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What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
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Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
There was only a 50% chance of snow.
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Have you heard about the pregnant bed bug?
She gave birth in the spring.
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If you ever name your kid Autumn...
Whenever they go out of the room, start singing “The Autumn Leaves...”.
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Why do trees drop their leaves in the fall?
It’s autumn-atic.
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Why is March through May the best time of the month to buy a mattress?
It’s when they are the most springy.
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How can you tell when April is happy?
It has a spring in its step.
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Why is April so popular for using a trampoline?
It’s Spring-time.
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What do you say when it’s raining chickens and ducks on April Fools’ Day?
It’s fowl spring weather.
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It’s the cold and flu time of year.
Or, as I like to call it, Vitamin C-son.
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Winters are fierce in Minnesota, so the owner of a construction project felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.
Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn’t wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day, the project manager asked, “Didn’t you like the muffs?”
The Foreman said, “They’re a thing of beauty.”
“Why don’t you wear them?” The Project Manager said.
The Foreman explained, “I was wearing them the first day, and somebody offered to buy me lunch, but I didn’t hear him! Never again, never again!”
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My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters.
Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation.
“If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.
After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.
“For the past 30 years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”
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A Native American man lived in the big city all his life.
Then one day his father dies.
When he goes home to the reserve for the funeral, the people all nominate him to be the new chief, since he was a successful businessman and his father was a good chief. He accepts.
But then that autumn, the people come to him and ask him if it will be a cold winter that year.
The man has no idea, since he was raised in the city all his life and doesn’t know any of the people’s traditional teachings.
So to be on the safe side, he says, “Yes. Better start gathering firewood.”
So they do.
Later that week, he decides to call up the National Weather Service and ask them what the forecast is for that winter.
They say, “Apparently, it’s going to be pretty cold this year.”
So he orders his people to gather twice as much firewood.
The next week, he calls the weather service again to ask if there are any updates on the forecast.
They say “Yes! Apparently, it’s going to be even colder than we previously thought.”
So the chief tells his people to gather three times the firewood they normally would.
He calls the weather service one more time, and the man tells him it’s probably going to be the coldest winter in history.
The chief asks how they know that.
And the man tells him, “I have no idea, but the Indians down at the local reserve have been gathering firewood like mad!”
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Whenever autumn comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves.
It sounds better than saying I’m a street sweeper.
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A couple goes to an art gallery.
They find a picture of a woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”
The husband replies, “Autumn.”
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Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn’y ache.
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We got our seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.
It’s for autumnmobiles.
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