Enjoy our team's carefully selected Photo Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Yo sister so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed.
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On 4 July, what do you get when you put a photo of America in a locket?
Then it becomes in-da-pendant.
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I got banned from Instagram for posting food pictures.
Apparently, they only want to see the food before you eat it, not after.
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Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends’ houses to show them the picture of your dinner?
No?
Me neither.
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Your Momma is so fat she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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I’ve given up social media for the New Year, and I am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.
Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works. I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist.
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If I ever go missing, I would like my photo, but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons.
This way my friends will know where to look for me.
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I took a photo of my sunflower.
Now it can photosynthesize.
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A guy was in a bar drinking beer.
He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer, take out his wallet, and look at a picture of his wife.
He did this several times. Finally, the bartender asks, why after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife.
The guy says, “As soon as she starts looking better to me, I go home.”
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A couple goes to an art gallery.
They find a picture of a woman with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking.
The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”
The husband replies, “Autumn.”
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Person 1: “Hey! I see a UFO up there in the sky take a picture now!”
Person 2: “Wait, I have to get the worst camera I have.”
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Yo mama’s so fat that she looks like Jabba the Hut before picture.
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Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot took her picture.
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Yo mama so fat her school pictures were taken by a satellite.
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Yo mama so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.
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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?
A stalk photo.
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It would have been a photo finish, but by the time my horse finished, it was too dark to take a picture.
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Santa saw your Facebook pictures...
You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
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This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office.
His lawyer says, “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?”
“Give me the bad news first,” he says.
“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars,” his lawyer informs him.
“That’s the bad news?” asks the man incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
“The terrible news is that it’s of you and your secretary.”
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Whenever I see a man with a beard, mustache and glasses, I think
“There’s a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.”
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Your mama so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!
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