Enjoy our team's carefully selected Mushroom Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Two leprechauns are in the forest and one starts eating mushrooms, so the other one says to him, “Are you having fun, Gus?”
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Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said, “You’re brilliant, what’s the band called?”
They replied, “We are the Champignons, my friend.”
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“Where did you get this mushroom recipe?” The husband asks his wife.
“In a detective novel,” she answers.
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A guy walks into the doctor’s office.
A carrot stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a mushroom stuck in one nostril.
The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
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A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.
“How wonderful! I hope you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”
“He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck.”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”
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A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.
She then told her husband, “No mushrooms. They are too high.”
He said, “Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.”
She said, “No, some wild mushrooms are poison.”
He said, “Well, I see varmints eating them and they’re OK.”
So Karen decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol’ Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol’ Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, Karen watched Ol’ Spot and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Karen even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and a fancy little cap on her head.
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes.
About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in Karen’s ear.
She said, “Mrs. Grim, Ol’ Spot just died.”
Karen went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, “That’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as possible. We’ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone’s stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.”
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.
The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, “I think everything will be fine now,” and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and said, “You know, that fellow that ran over Ol’Spot never even stopped.”
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Broccoli: “Hey, I look like a tree.”
Mushroom: “Wow, I look just like an umbrella.”
Walnut: “I look exactly like a brain.”
Banana: “Man, can we change the topic please?”
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Why did the mushroom never have a lot of money?
Because he was just too spore.
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What does the mushroom say to his lover?
“I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
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Why doesn’t the word “mushroom” make a good computer password?
It’s not stroganoff.
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When do mushrooms retire?
When they get too mold.
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Why couldn’t the mushroom get into the club?
He wasn’t mold enough.
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How do you tell poisonous mushrooms apart from edible ones?
You give them to someone else to eat first.
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Which vegetables go best with jacket potatoes?
Button Mushrooms.
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What room has no doors, walls, or floor?
A mushroom.
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Why do Toadstools grow so close together?
They don’t need Mush-room.
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What do you call a picture of a mushroom with no arms, legs or head?
A stalk photo.
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Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s no mush-room.
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What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?
He didn’t have mush-room.
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What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?
A spores car!
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Why did the fungi leave the party?
There wasn’t mush-room for dancing.
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What’s the only room in your house you can’t go into?
A mushroom.
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What’s the world’s biggest mushroom competition?
The champignon’s league.
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How much room does a fungi need to grow?
As mush-room as possible.
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What did the mushroom say as he fell off a cliff?
“Help! I’m in truffle!”
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What do you get if a frog eats a mushroom?
A toadstool.
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What sort of room can you eat?
A mushroom.
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Why does the fungus always win the argument?
Because they don’t leave mush-rooms for debate.
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What did the teacher say about the student’s attempt at making pizza?
There’s so mush-room for improvement.
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What does a mushroom sit on?
A toadstool.
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Why are mushroom children so good?
They don’t want to get in truffle.
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What room can no one enter?
A Mushroom.
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What happens when one fungi marries another fungi?
They become fungus!
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What’s the difference between stormtroopers having a party and mushrooms being picked?
One’s bad guys having a fun time and the other one’s fungi having a bad time!
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Why is it not worth it to hunt for mushrooms?
It’s too much truffle.
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What do you get when a giant steps on a house?
Mush-rooms.
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What do you call a lady who enjoys mushrooms?
A fun-gal.
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Why do fungi have to pay extra on the bus?
Because they take up too mush-room.
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Why did the mushroom have to leave her home?
It was growing toxic by the day.
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Where do mushrooms hang out on Saturday night?
The salad bar.
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What does a polite mushroom say?
“Thank you very mush!”
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What did the fungi say when he was offered seconds at dinner?
“No thanks. I don’t have mush-room left in my stomach.”
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What is blue and lies under a mushroom?
Smurf poop.
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Why did the mushroom break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was toxic!
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The reason the girl hated mushrooms is because they were too mushy.
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During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
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When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
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At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
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Unfortunately, many mushroom puns are in spore taste.
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I didn’t always like mushrooms, but they’ve finally started to grow on me.
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Our local woods are full of mushrooms right now.
I’m always tripping on them.
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I started growing fungi in my garden, but failed miserably.
I guess there is mush-room for improvement.
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Personally, I think you should start the day off with a meal of French mushrooms... breakfast of champignons.
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I had this long fungi joke, but I don’t have enough shroom to type it.
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All mushrooms are edible.
But some mushrooms are only edible once.
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Make sure to always be careful when eating mushrooms.
If you eat the wrong one you could be in truffle.
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Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table. One more asked to join.
One of them said, “Sorry there is not mush-room.”
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“You know, I think it’s your turn to pick wild mushrooms.” My girlfriend said.
So I gather.
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Don’t walk through a field of mushrooms.
It’s quite a tripping hazard.
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Why did the guy eat a poisonous mushroom?
He thought that any morel would do.
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Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?
He had no morel compass.
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Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi...
they have the best morels.
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Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...
Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong morel fiber.
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I’ve been superglued mushrooms all over my body.
My wife says it’s not right, but I’m sticking to my morels.
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I can’t stop my mushroom from leaning.
I think I need some morel support.
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Most of my group wanted to go mushroom hunting.
I call them the morel majority.
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There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.
Morel of the storey.
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I don’t trust people who don’t like mushrooms.
Clearly, they are of low morel fiber.
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Why are books about mushrooms so confusing?
They have too many different morels.
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A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms.
After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.
The morel of the story... killed him.
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I went to the mycologists’ convention, but there was too much shii-take.
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What do you call a mushroom that has nothing nice to say?
A shii-talkin mushroom.
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What type of mushrooms are the worst to have as friends?
Shii-talkin!
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I tried to post my opinion on mushrooms.
But it was a shii-take!
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My stomach doesn’t tolerate mushrooms.
They really give me a shii-take.
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What do you call when you mix brandy, shiitake mushrooms, rat poison and a dash of vanilla essence?
The ambulance.
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Two mushrooms were talking about politics.
One mushroom said, “I think that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”
The other said, “That’s a shiitake.”
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Why don’t mushrooms always get along?
They like to shii-take others.
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What kind of food says mean things about you behind your back?
Shiitake mushrooms.
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What kind of mushroom gets beat up the most?
A shiitake mushroom.
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Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?
He was sick of all its shii-take.
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I have so mush-room in my heart for you.
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How do you wish a mushroom a happy birthday?
Happy birthday to a real fungi!
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Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
He’s a fun-gi.
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Not to be Mushy but since it is your birthday I just want to say: I think you are the most Fungiing awesome mom, you are cute as a Button, you put in the fun in Fungus, you have always been there for Morel support, and you are like a Truffle—hard to find and incredibly valuable.
You are the Champion of Moms! I mean I turned out alright, not to toot my own Trumpet.
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Who would be the best food to hang out with, a strawberry, a banana or a mushroom?
A mushroom of course, because he’s a fun-gi.
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He may have been a fun-gi, but he sure did have questionable morels.
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A mushroom walks up to a tomato and asks him out on a date.
As the evening wears on, the tomato is just sitting there, not saying much and looking miserable.
“What’s wrong?” the mushroom says. “Aren’t you enjoying yourself?”
“I guess I’m just not a fun-gi,” says the tomato.
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Why does Mario prefer to hang out with Toad more than Luigi?
Because he’s a fun-gi.
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I met this dude once who was really into mushrooms.
He was a real fun-gi.
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Why are mushrooms popular at parties?
Because everyone loves a fun-gi.
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So a mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”
The mushroom says, “Come on. I’m a fun-gi.”
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My friend had mushrooms during the party.
Now he’s a fun-gi.
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What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar and buys drinks for everyone all night long?
Fun-gi to be around!
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