Enjoy our team's carefully selected Love Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
The peach couple is in love.
They seem to be born for peach other.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Boy.”
“Boy, who?”
“Boy do I love St. Paddy’s Day!”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl always love you.”
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Hey, I know you’re in love, but it’s time to break up with your bed and get out of there.
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I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love.
It never got published.
It was all in vein.
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Keeping The Romance Alive
I still love to spoil the love of my life.
If she works late at night, she calls me and tells me she’s on her way. I immediately start running the taps and pouring in some nice hot water with foam so that when she walks in, she can start washing the dishes right away.
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What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
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What is a carnivore’s favorite bumper sticker for their car?
“I love animals. They taste great.”
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A man visits a friend recovering from the flu that had him bedridden for weeks.
Surprisingly, the friend says it’s been a happy and wonderful experience.
“How so?” asks the man.
Friend: “Well, I’ve found out how much my wife loves me and how pleased she is to have me home.”
Man: “How do you know?”
Friend: “Well, every time the postman, the milkman or the dustman comes by, she runs out shouting ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’.”
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Why do people love blue jokes?
They’re so pun-derful.
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I asked Uranus about its love life.
And it replied, “It’s complicated, I’m in a gas-tly relationship.”
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A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words, and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling”.
But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.
At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said, “Pardon?”
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In France, they don’t say “I love you”.
Because they don’t speak English there.
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What did the skydiver say in autumn?
I love the fall.
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Marriage is love.
Love is blind.
Marriage is an institution.
Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
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I just told my crush that I’m in love with her. She said that she sees me as her brother.
I’m just lucky she is from Alabama.
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The sunflower was feeling lonely.
He said he just wanted to get some-bud-y to love.
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Why are spirits so lonely?
They have no body to love.
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Why did Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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Let me be frank, I love the summer.
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I love vegan food!
It makes an excellent side dish to any meat.
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What do you call it when Spider-Man is involved in a love triangle?
A tangled web.
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My physicist girlfriend told me that she loves me to the moon and back.
I’m worried she means displacement, not distance.
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What sign was hanging outside the room where all the donut lovers were having a meeting?
It was a sign that said “Donut disturb!”.
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Please, donut break my heart.
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Donut judge me for being a dessert lover!
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What did the basketball player who loved donuts say after the match?
Let’s go to Dunkin’ Donuts for the hole food protein!
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Hole me closer, tiny donut.
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You donut know how much I love you!
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Yo mama so fat Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.
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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend, “What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine’s Day?”
“Well, I don’t know” she answers shyly.
“OK, that I give you another year to think about it...”
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What do love and fatty foods have in common?
They both go straight for your heart!
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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?
His heart! (Well, not his.)
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What did the electric socket say to their spouse?
“I love you a watt!”
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I donut want to glaze over the fact that I love you a hole bunch.
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I hope you like veggies cause I love you from my head tomatoes.
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Girlfriend: “Our new neighbor always kisses his girlfriend when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
Boyfriend: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
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Boyfriend: “I love you.”
Girlfriend: “Is that you or the wine talking?”
Boyfriend: “It’s me talking to the wine.”
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A T-Rex told his girlfriend, “I love you this much,” as he stretched out his arms.
To which the girlfriend replied, “That’s not very much at all!”
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I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.
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I love you more than ice cream.
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Have you ever seen something so attractive and so hot that it makes you melt like ice cream when you see try to get close to it?
I haven’t. I think I’m seeing stars.
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I love Valentine’s Day: the bottle of wine, the heart-shaped ice cream cake...
Taking them home and eating them alone while crying and watching YouTube videos.
Good times.
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I have so mush-room in my heart for you.
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I wish love is like a baby shampoo it has “No more tears formula”.
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True love is like a pillow: you can hug it when you’re in trouble, you can cry on it when you’re in pain, you can embrace it when you’re happy.
So when you need true love, Buy a pillow!
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What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
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Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my partner treats me like toxic waste!
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Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, it’s going to end in a mess.
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Love is a lot like peeing your pants.
Only you can feel the warm sensation from such an experience.
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“Dad, did you ever fall in love?”
“Yes, son. I did once.”
“And, what happened?”
“In the beginning it was fantastic, but then your mother found out.”
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You are like dandruff because I just can not get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.
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The only love triangle I want is a slice of pizza.
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I love summer in Canada!
It’s my favorite day of the year!
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Why do SEOs love the farmers market?
Lots of organic content!
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A balding man was getting a haircut.
The man’s barber said, “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the front?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a thinker.”
Man: “Oh?!”
Barber: “Do you know what they say if you’re bald in the back?”
Man: “No.”
Barber: “They say you’re a lover.”
The man perked up.
Man: “What do they say if you’re bald in the front and the back?”
Barber: “That you only think you’re a lover.”
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Man: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God: “So you would love her?”
Man: “But God, why did you make her so dumb?”
God: “So she would love you?”
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Before Marriage.
Boy: “Ah at last. I can hardly wait.”
Girl: “Do you want me to leave?”
Boy: “No, don't even think about it.”
Girl: “Do you love me?”
Boy: “Of Course. Always have and always will.”
Girl: “Have you ever cheated on me?”
Boy: “Never. Why are you even asking?”
Girl: “Will you kiss me?”
Boy: “Hell no. Are you crazy?”
Girl: “Can I trust you?”
Boy: “Yes.”
Girl: “Darling!”
After Marriage… (Read from bottom to top)
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Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
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