Enjoy our team's carefully selected Lion Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What did the mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
“Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!”
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If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
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Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
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A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?”
The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo.”
“Oh my, which way is it heading?”
“Well, you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”
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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!”
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”
The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, “Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!”
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What would’ve been a better name for the lion instead of King of the Jungle?
Emperoar.
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What do a lion and a computer have in common?
They both have mega bites.
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What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?
Ryan.
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Why don’t circus lions eat the clowns?
Because they taste funny.
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Why did the circus lion eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a well-balanced meal.
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Koala: “What do you mean, I’m not a bear? I have all the koalafications.”
Elephant: “Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.”
Lion: “Don’t listen to him! He’s lion!”
Bear: “This arguing is becoming unbearable!”
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I have the eyes of a hawk, the heart of a lion, the ears of a fox.
And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
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Why did the barber keep agreeing to shave the lion’s fur even though it was dangerous?
It was his mane source of income.
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You’re riding a horse full speed, there’s a giraffe beside you, and you’re being chased by a lion. What do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the carousel!
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