Intelligence Jokes



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Intelligence Jokes


Five Scotsmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, β€œIt is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four.”

β€œQuattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Scotsmen retort in disbelief. β€œLook at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons.”

β€œYou cannot pull that one on me,” replies Paddy. β€œQuattro means four. You have five people in your car, and you are therefore breaking the law.”

The Scotsmen reply angrily, β€œYou idiot! Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”

β€œSorry,” responds Paddy, β€œMurphy is busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno.”

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Why are artificial intelligences in movies always female?

Because they’re never wrong.

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What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

Artificial intelligence.

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A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man.

I guess that puts women in third.

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My boss calls me β€œComputer”, but it has nothing to do with my intelligence.

I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

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One alien says to another, β€œThe dominant life forms on the planet earth appear to have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”

The second alien replies, β€œAre they an emerging intelligence?”

The first alien says, β€œI don’t think so, they have them aimed at themselves.”

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