Enjoy our team's carefully selected Halloween Dad Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
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What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
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Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
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Had an encounter with a dyslexic witch.
I am safe because she couldn’t spell.
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How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
If it’s a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
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Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because it’s invisible.
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What is a vampire’s worst fear?
Tooth decay.
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Why is the woman afraid of the vampire?
Because he is all bite and no bark.
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Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders?
Because they have spirit.
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Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon?
He needed to change.
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Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?
Because they just had their brains scooped out!
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Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten!
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Wanna know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
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What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life!
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What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day?
Lazy bones.
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Why don’t people like Dracula?
He’s a pain in the neck.
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Why did the skeleton run away?
Because a dog was after his bones.
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What do dentists hand out at Halloween?
Candy. It’s good for business.
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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
Do you believe in people?
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Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
Because they’re not whenwolves.
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How did the pumpkin feel after being carved?
Gutted.
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What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?
“Are you feeling ill?”
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What does for call the moon after a bat flies into it?
A blood moon!
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Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
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What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
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