Enjoy our team's carefully selected Good Morning Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
My bed and I love each other but the alarm clock is not clear!
Good morning!
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Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction!
Good morning!
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Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.
Good morning!
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I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed.
Good morning!
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Good morning!
Come on, get up!
The day does not mess up by itself.
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All the coffee beans in Colombia won’t make me a morning person.
Good morning!
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Workout in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.
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Morning is calling!
Just kidding, it’s only me. Pick up!
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I finally achieved all my goals in life!
Then, the alarm clock went off.
Good morning, I guess.
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Hey, I know you’re in love, but it’s time to break up with your bed and get out of there.
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Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Can I come over yet?
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Good morning to someone who starts each day by asking the important questions of life: Can I eat leftover pizza for breakfast?
Have a great day!
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I’ll just say “morning” because a good morning would be much later on a Saturday.
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One day you can be a morning person, but today is not that day.
It’s the afternoon.
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Good morning to someone who is the best sleeper in the world!
Seriously. It’s been hours. Wake up!
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Good morning!
Sorry you can’t wake up to my wonderful face, but hopefully this text will suffice.
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Seize the day. Or sneeze the day.
Regardless, bless you!
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Your 5 minutes are up!
And nope, no more extensions.
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You have a message, wake up, lazybones!
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Like a garbage phoenix, you shall rise from the gutter you call bed.
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It’s time to wake up and get that brain of yours working again.
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If you want to lie in your bed forever, then I might as well just buy you a coffin.
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I hate early mornings, but I love waking you up.
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Guess what?
It’s morning!
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Get up, your coffee needs you.
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As your torturer, I’m making it my mission to wake you up really early every day.
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A glorious morning to you, little cow!
It’s time to get moo-ving!
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Mornings are all about pancakes and bacon.
Now, will you please wake up and make breakfast for me?
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May your day be as spectacular as me.
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Is there a spirit in this room?
Wake up and answer me.
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I brought you some fuel to kick-start your body engine.
Simply put, I brought you some coffee.
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The only reason you don’t stress out about anything is because you’re always asleep.
Get up and feel the world. A little bit won’t hurt you.
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Your breath stinks!
Get up and brush your teeth!
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You look awfully familiar.
Don’t I know you from yesterday?
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You’re the reason why I don’t believe in Sleeping Beauty.
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Wake up, you lazy!
I pray your day be profoundly fruitful.
I know it is very hard in your case, but at least try.
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Today is a good day to die.
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Stop snoring and wake up!
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Your friend.”
“My friend, who?”
“Your friend who needs a key so I can drag you out of bed in the morning, sleepy head!”
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From the depths of your slumber, I summon thee.
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Come on out of bed and surrender.
We’ve got you surrounded!
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Can you hear the birds singing?
Good! That means you’re awake.
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Your fun-sized gleam of sarcastic sunshine has arrived to wake you up.
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You look like a zombie!
Did you get enough sleep last night?
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Well, well, well, how are you still alive?
The assassins I’ve hired must have failed. Count this day of yours a lucky one!
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Wake up, the garbage truck is ready to pick you up.
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Trying to wake you up is such a thrill.
It’s like waking up a mad beast from its ponderous slumber.
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Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock... boom!
Good morning!
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There’s actually no reason for me to be up this early, but I don’t want to go through it alone.
It’s pretty much torture, so wake up and suffer with me!
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The house is on fire!
Wake up!
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Nope, that’s not the smell of morning bacon.
It’s our house burning!
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My apologies for waking you up too early.
I thought you were dead!
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If you don’t wake up soon, I will eat your breakfast.
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I’m going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether you’re sleeping or not!
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Have a fantastic day, weirdo!
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Don’t make me kill you at this hour in the morning.
It’s not civilized.
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Do you know that moment in the morning right after you wake up when you feel fully rejuvenated and high in energy?
Yeah, me neither.
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Blessed be your morning, o holy one!
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Alert, alert!
The most wonderful human on earth is about to wake up!
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A marvelous morning to you, my friend.
You are someone who never quits, mainly because you never start.
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Good morning!
Hope your morning is less Monday and more Friday!
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Good morning!
Remember, it’s better to arrive late in this office than to arrive ugly!
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Start your day with a smile and a cup of coffee,
And remember, I’m here to annoy you!
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Good morning!
I hope your morning coffee is as strong as your enthusiasm for work!
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Good morning!
Remember, life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
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Coffee is the reason I get up every morning.
But it’s the hope of annoying you that keeps me going.
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Good morning!
I hope you woke up on the right side of the bed...
Because I moved all the furniture to the left side.
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May your morning be so bright that you need sunglasses just to pour your cereal.
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Good morning!
May your day be as fabulous as you pretending to work hard.
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Hope your morning is full of unanswered texts, misplaced car keys, and an empty coffee cup.
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Good morning!
May your day be as positive as your WiFi signal.
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Hope your morning is as bright and beautiful as your smile after your first cup of coffee.
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Good morning!
Today is a good day to have a good day, especially if you've had your coffee.
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May the force be with you this morning, but first, coffee!
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Good morning!
Remember, a yawn is a silent scream for coffee.
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Good morning!
May your cup be filled with coffee and your tolerance for stupid people be high.
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Good morning!
I hope you step on a Lego today, just to remind you that pain is temporary.
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Good morning!
Remember, life is too short to skip breakfast...
Or to wear matching socks.
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Good morning!
I hope your day is as bright and beautiful as your bedhead.
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Rise and shine!
Today is a great day to be amazing.
Or at least pretend to be until you’ve had your coffee.
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Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!
It’s a brand new day full of possibilities and bacon.
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Good morning!
May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
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Rise and shine!
It’s time to conquer the world... or at least the snooze button.
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Rise and conquer, adventurer!
Today’s mission: navigate through the day without putting your shirt on inside-out.
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Rise and shine!
If mornings were a sport, I’d be the MVP of hitting the ‘sleep’ button.
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Hello world!
I’m not saying I’m a morning person.
But my favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a reach for the snooze button.
Let’s call it the ‘Sunrise Stretch’!
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Good morning!
Coffee is my morning superhero.
It doesn’t wear a cape, but it sure knows how to rescue me from the grumpiness monster every day.
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Good morning!
Coffee is my love language, and I’m fluent in sarcasm.
If my coffee cup could talk, it would probably say, “Handle with extreme care before caffeine kicks in.”
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Rise and shine!
My morning ritual includes hitting the snooze button at least three times.
It’s not laziness; it’s my way of negotiating with the alarm clock.
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Good morning!
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I’m aiming for the cheese today!
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Hello morning!
If my bedhead had a resume, it would list ‘master of morning chaos.’
May your day be as well-organized as my hair isn’t!
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Rise, shine, and try not to spill your coffee. Life’s too short for bad coffee.
Cheers to a spill-tacular day!
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I’m not a morning person or a night owl.
I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon just trying to get through the day.
Good morning!
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Good morning!
Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.
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I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.
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I smiled right after getting up.
I think I dislocated my face.
Good morning!
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Good morning! Open your mouth wide!
I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!
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Good morning, world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.
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People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it.
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“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.
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I always say “Morning” instead of “Good morning”.
If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
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There are two ways of waking up in the morning.
One is to say, “Good morning, God,”
And the other is to say, “Good God, morning!”
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Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and so on.
The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist” garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine, and the scenery when a gorgeous blond in a bikini came walking straight towards them.
They couldn’t help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, “Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits, and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.
After a while, the same gorgeous blond in an even more outrageous bikini, came walking toward them again (they were glad they had sunglasses because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads).
Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: “Good morning, Father. Good morning Father,” and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn’t stand it and said, “Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?”
“Oh, Father, don’t you recognize me? I’m Sister Angela!”
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Good morning!
Monday through Friday, nine to 5, I reach function along with someone who reaches the workplace, with determination, increasing the spirits of every one of his office mates... after that there’s you! You are additionally at the workplace!
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Every night, I go to bed determined to be productive the following day.
Here’s to a good morning... tomorrow.
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Good morning, sweetie!
When I get up, my initial idea is of just how you feel, after that, I obtain you a cup of coffee, placed it down, as well as back away, gradually...
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Good morning!
The boss is out sick so I’m taking it upon myself to declare today a sick day for us all. Go back to bed!
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Good morning, workmate!
Being around you has inspired me... to quit as well as locate a new work!
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Some people wake up finding messages like “Good morning baby”.
I wake up with “Battery full, Remove charger”.
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