Enjoy our team's carefully selected Gnome Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
A humpback and a peg leg are having drinks in a bar.
When they are quite drunk and the bar closes, they go their ways home. The humpback decides to take the short route through the graveyard.
Suddenly, a little gnome jumps him and cackling, “What is that on your back?!”
The man replies, “Oh, that’s my hump.”
“Give it to me!” the gnome snarls, and he magically grabs the man’s hump.
The next day, the man returns to the bar to tell his peg leg friend how he got magically cured of his hump.
“No more pain, I can walk straight! That gnome gave me my life back!” he yelled.
That night, when the bar closes, the peg leg decides to try his luck too, and takes the route through the graveyard.
Suddenly, a little gnome jumps him and cackling, “What is that on your back?!”
The man blinks and stutters, “Eh... I have nothing in my back, but...”
And the gnome snarls, “Here, I’ve got a spare hump for you!”
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What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat on a train saying “tick, tick, tick”?
A metro-gnome.
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A gnome walks into a bar and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other.
After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night.
The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home.
He turns to the bartender and says, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
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What do you call a psychic gnome that just committed a hit and run?
A small medium at large.
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A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
“What are you?” asks the cat.
“I’m a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature are you?”
The cat thinks for a moment and says, “I guess I’m a gnome.”
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She left the bar because after 45 minutes, the date finally arrived, and he was a gnome.
Too little, too late.
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