Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dumb Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Why are orange jokes so dumb?
Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.
😄 😄 😄
One day, a blonde woman entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new auto.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her, so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could, and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story, the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a dumb carnivore?
A meathead.
😄 😄 😄
Three Indian commandos were out in the Iraqi desert.
“I understand that you, Indians, have brought your own indigenous survival equipment,” ventured their captain.
“Sir, I have brought an entire barrel cactus,” said the Pima guy proudly. “When I get too hot, I just cut off the top and take a drink.”
The captain looked impressed.
Not to be outdone, the Pueblo guy said, “Sir, I have brought the sacred corn pollen. When I get too hot, I pray with it, and then it rains.”
The captain looked even more impressed.
Not to be outdone, the Pawnee guy said, “I brought a car door off a 1959 Chevy Impala.”
“Why would you do that?” the captain asked.
“Well,” said the Pawnee guy, “when I get too hot, I just roll down the window.”
😄 😄 😄
Back in the Old West, there were two scoundrels known for being dumber than a box of rocks—Jeff and Dave.
One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar and said, “If any man brings me an Indian’s prized horse, I’ll give him $1000.”
The two men looked at each other, walked out of the bar and mounted their horses.
It wasn’t long before they saw a Native American, so they caught up to him and pushed him off his horse.
He fell into a ravine, but the loyal horse followed him right down there.
The two scoundrels scrambled to follow it down to the bottom to try and catch it.
Suddenly, Jeff said, “Dave, look at this!”
Dave replied, “Not now! Can’t you see I’m trying to catch a prized horse?!”
Jeff shouted again, breathlessly, “I really think you should look at this.”
“Why don’t you help me try and make $1000 instead of goofing off?!”
But Jeff was adamant, “Please, just take a darn look!”
So Dave stopped running, looked up, and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand Native Americans and their horses.
Dave shook his head and said, “Oh... my... God... We’re going to be millionaires!”
😄 😄 😄
A blonde’s neighbor’s house was on fire, so she called 911.
The blonde told the operator, “My neighbor’s house is on fire!”
The operator asked, “Where are you?”
The blonde answered, “At my house”.
The operator replied, “No, I’m asking how do we get there?”
The blonde said, “In a firetruck, duh!”
😄 😄 😄
“911, where is your emergency?”
“Damn, she gave me the wrong number.”
😄 😄 😄
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
😄 😄 😄
The phone rang at my work.
My boss asked, “Why don’t you answer it?”
I said, “I’ll let it ring for a while. That way they’ll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.”
My boss shouted, “ANSWER IT NOW!”
I picked up the phone and said, “911, what’s the emergency?”
😄 😄 😄
One night, a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures, and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy, and I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing. I feel content in all ways,” said the nun.
“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.
“Name it. Please,” said God.
“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel.”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb I asked her what she does for a living, and she said breathe.
😄 😄 😄
My sister so dumb she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb he got hit by a parked car.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb when he jumps the fence, the gate was open.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb he tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb the computer said “press any key to continue”, and he was looking for the any key BUTTON.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.
😄 😄 😄
The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
😄 😄 😄
Two guys in an insane asylum are up for parole.
The first guy goes to see the committee, and they ask him some questions.
Committee: “Who discovered America?”
Guy 1: “Christopher Columbus.”
Committee: “How long ago was that?”
Guy 1: “Around three hundred years.”
Committee: “Do aliens exist?”
Guy 1: “It’s possible, but there’s no proof.”
He goes back outside and says to the other insane guy, “It’s easy, you just answer “Christopher Columbus”, “Around three hundred years”, and “It’s possible, but there’s no proof”.
So the other guy goes in, and the questions begin.
Committee: “What’s your name?”
Guy 2: “Christopher Columbus.”
Committee (incredulously): “How old are you?”
Guy 2 (with conviction): “Around three hundred years.”
Committee: “Are you insane?”
Guy 2: “It’s possible, but there’s no proof.”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb she thought Nickelback was a refund.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb she uses Old Spice body wash to cook.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb she thought Call of Duty was a game about pooping.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb when she got locked in a grocery store she starved to death.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb her IQ is lower than Jeffy the Puppet.
😄 😄 😄
A guy is standing in the street shouting out, “I am God! I am God!”
The police call a social worker who comes over to see if he can help.
Walking up to the guy he asks, “What is your name?”
“I am God,” the guy replies getting agitated.
The social worker says, “Calm down. Why don’t we go into this coffee shop, sit down and have a talk.”
As soon as they enter the shop the barista looks at the guy and exclaims, “Oh God, not you again!?”
😄 😄 😄
A young idiot is told that it looks like his beard is coming in, so he goes down to the gate to wait for it to arrive.
While he’s waiting a friend sees him and asks what he’s doing.
“I’m waiting for my beard, I was told it was coming in,” Says the idiot.
“No wonder people call you an idiot,” says the friend. “How do you know it’s not coming in from the other gate?”
😄 😄 😄
Three guys are in the woods: a really smart guy, an average and a really dumb guy.
They are bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting.
A little while later he comes back with a deer.
The average guy asks, “How did you do that?”
The really smart guy says, “I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer and I shoot deer.”
The average guy says, “I think I understand,” and leaves.
A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon.
He really dumb goes gasp, “How did you do that!?”
And the average looks at him funny and says, “Well I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon and I shoot raccoon.
The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, “Oooohh ok, I think I can do that…,” and leaves.
Hours pass and the guy finally returns hurt, bloody and horribly mingled. They run to help him.
Finally one of the guys asked him what happened.
This is what he said, “I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train and I shoot train, but train keeps coming.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.”
No one stands up.
Teacher: “Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb.” Waves her finger around the left side of the room.
Little Johnny stands up.
Teacher: “Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?”
Little Johnny: “No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.”
😄 😄 😄
You so dumb you have to stop during track workouts to ask for directions.
😄 😄 😄
You so dumb you once tried to exchange a bib number because you thought the whole thing was printed upside down.
😄 😄 😄
Man: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God: “So you would love her?”
Man: “But God, why did you make her so dumb?”
God: “So she would love you?”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama is so dumb and hungry the only letters in the alphabet she knows are K.F.C.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama is so dumb when dad said it’s chilly outside she brought a spoon and a bowl.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma so dumb when y’all were driving to Disneyland she saw a sign that said “Disneyland left” so she went home.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma is so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
😄 😄 😄
