Enjoy our team's carefully selected Depressed Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
An emergency call center worker has been fired in Toronto, much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.
It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, “I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes, I can finally meet Allah.”
To which the call center employee replied, “Remain calm and stay on the line.”
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What do you call a depressed unicorn?
A blue-corn.
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What do you call a depressed blue crayon?
Blue-tiful.
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What code does a depressed programmer write?
“Goodbye, world!”
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Our bands bassist was always coming in late. He just couldn’t get the timing right, so we kicked him out of the band.
He got so depressed, he threw himself behind a bus.
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I hate being a depressed atheist.
Nothing to live for, nothing to die for.
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What do you call two depressed bears?
Bipolar.
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I was depressed in my job as a guillotine operator.
I just couldn’t see myself getting ahead in life with that job.
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Why are people from New York always depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.
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If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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Why are all mini golf players depressed?
They have no drive.
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What did the taco say to the depressed donut?
Taco: “Want to taco bout it?”
Donut: “I donut know what to say.”
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I’m chronically depressed, but my spirits feel uplifted when I’m outside in the beautiful sunshine.
I guess I must be solar-powered?
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