Enjoy our team's carefully selected Day Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
It was a dull day, but I saw a pink colored rose.
I look at the bright seed of things.
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Chicken to turkey:
“Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You’re lucky, with us it’s any Sunday.”
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What do you call it when you prank a person on Sunday?
Sabbathtoge.
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What is a monkey’s favorite day of the year?
The first of Ape-ril.
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What did Santa get the day after Christmas?
Diabetes.
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What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?
A peak experience.
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What’s a terrorist’s favorite day in November?
Bomb fire night.
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What day creates the most alternative energy?
Winds-Day.
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Me and my childhood crush are getting married next week.
Me on Wednesday and she on Saturday.
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I love summer in the UK.
My favorite day of the year.
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When should you wear flip-flop sandals?
On a Toesday.
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Girlfriend: “What’s the day today?”
Boyfriend: “Monday.”
Girlfriend: “The...?”
Boyfriend: “Day before Tuesday.”
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A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him he thinks he can see the future.
The doctor asks, “When did this start?”
The patient replies, “Next Tuesday.”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Boo.”
“Boo, who?”
“Don’t cry, it’s only Tuesday!”
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On what day of the week, do monsters eat people?
Chewsday.
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Why did the superhero look forward to Tuesdays?
Because it was the perfect day for saving the day.
Tues-save-day!
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Three elderly ladies sit on a park bench.
The first tells her companions, “Wow, it’s windy today.”
The second responds, “No, it’s Thursday.”
The third says, “So am I. Let’s get a drink.”
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What is Thriday?
That moment when Thursday starts to feel a lot like a Friday.
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A youthful, cheerful woman enters an elevator with an older man.
“TGIF!” says the woman with a big smile.
“S.h.i.t,” he deadpans as he slowly turns to face her.
Thinking he didn’t hear her, the woman gently repeats “T.G.I.F.”
He merely says, “S.h.i.t.” as slowly as he can.
“T.G.I.F. is for Thank God It’s Friday, Silly!” she exclaims, exasperated.
“I know that, but it’s Thursday,” the man responds.
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What is Loki’s least favorite day of the week?
Thor’s Day.
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How was your ear operation?
Thursday.
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What is the busiest day for a chiropractor?
Throwback Thursday.
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What do you call a Thursday that feels a bit off?
Thirst-day, because it’s always craving the weekend.
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The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
“Ma’am,” said the employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until Sunday.”
There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition, “So that’s why no one was in church today...”
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What did the man, eating pickles, say to two of his friends who were complaining about Wednesday?
“You two have got to dill with this hump today!”
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What do you call a camel with no hump on a Wednesday?
Humph-rey.
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Why did the employee get a camel in the office building?
Because the boss said, “Bring in the hump day.”
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When you’re a camel, every day is hump day!
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When is the ideal day to have camel meat?
Wednesday.
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Why do camels make the best comedians on Wednesdays?
Because they know how to get everyone laughing over the hump.
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What is a camel’s favorite day of the week?
Hump day!
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Why are Saturday and Sunday stronger than Wednesday?
Because Wednesday is a weak day.
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What do you call it when it’s not raining on Wednesday?
Simply, dry hump day.
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Why did the llama cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off.
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Student: “Teacher, is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy?“
Teacher: “Of course. Why should that day be an exception?”
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The worst thing about Friday the 13th is Monday the 16th.
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What do you call playing Fortnite during the day?
Daycare.
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What day do eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
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Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, babe, but I’ve cheated on you.”
Boyfriend: “I’m sorry as well, I have also cheated on you.”
Girlfriend: “April Fools’ Day!”
Boyfriend: “Mine was on 24th March.”
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I said to the gym teacher, “Can you teach me to do the splits?”
He said, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
The horse’s name is Friday!
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My wife asked me, “Why are there holes in your pants?”
I said, “It’s Sunday, right?”
My wife: “Yeah?”
Me: “Well, these are my holy pants.”
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When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims?
On Fry Day.
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What is Spider-Man’s favorite day of the week?
Flyday.
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Why do people on Earth like the way the planet rotates?
Because it makes their day.
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Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
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Can you guess what the calendar worker got fired for?
He took a day off without telling anyone!
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Guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day?
He just had to dill.
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What’s a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
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Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
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Do you want to get a sundae?
No, thanks, it’s only Thursday.
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Where do mushrooms hang out on Saturday night?
The salad bar.
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How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?
He ate him on Sunday night!
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On Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy...
Getting up off the floor is another story.
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What’s the worst thing that can happen on a Friday?
When you realize it’s Thursday.
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What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th?
By their names.
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What is the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moon-day!
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
You tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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