Enjoy our team's carefully selected Chicken Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
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Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Eat more chicken.”
“Eat more chicken, who?”
“YOU!”
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Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would Caesar.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Chicken.”
“Chicken, who?”
“Just chicken this is the right house!”
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So this chicken walks up to a turkey and says, “Hey, turkey! I’ve always wondered something…”
Turkey’s like, “Yeah. What’s up?”
And so the chicken says, “That thing. You know, that flap of skin or whatever that’s hanging down over your beak. What do you call that thing?”
And the turkey crosses his eyes and looks down and says, “Beak? What beak?”
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Chicken to turkey:
“Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You’re lucky, with us it’s any Sunday.”
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
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My non-vegetarian friend told me to eat chicken, it’s very healthy.
I said no, it WAS healthy, but you ate it.
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Why did the llama cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off.
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Why did the dragon cross the road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
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Why did the chicken family cross the road?
They thought it was an egg-cellent idea.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
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Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because it got run over half-way.
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Why didn’t the roast chicken cross the road?
It didn’t have the guts anymore.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was trying to escape the gravitational pull of your mother.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
If you saw Chuck Norris coming, you’d have crossed that road too!
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it was free range.
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Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of all the jokes.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To bock traffic.
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Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
To stretch her legs.
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What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
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One place where I lived had unusual sounds at night.
It sounded sort of like hundreds of chickens, but very faint and only under the darkest moon.
Turns out the place had been built over an old egg and chicken farm, which had become haunted by the noises of the deceased chickens.
We had a poultrygeist.
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It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
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It is my first time in court and I heard the judge shouting, “Order!”
So I replied, “Fried chicken, mac and cheese, and cola.”
Now I’m being escorted out by two officers. I think we are going to a restaurant.
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“Dad, I don’t want to go to school today,” said the boy.
“Why not, son?”
“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.”
“But why don’t you want to go today?”
“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”
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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.
After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in.
He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
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An old lady walked into a pet store, found a parrot, and asked the owner if she could buy it.
The owner said, “Heck no! That parrot has a bad mouth! Trust me, you do not want that parrot!”
She said, “I can teach it good manners.”
But, when she got home the parrot said a bad word, so she put it in the freezer for 10 seconds.
She took it out and said, “Did you learn your lesson?”
It said another bad word so she put it back in for 30 seconds.
She took it out and asked if it learned its lesson yet.
The parrot said “Brr... Yes, I learned my lesson, but what did the chicken do?"
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Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a KFC on the other side.
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Bula decides it’s time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.
Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.
After a year, at the New Year’s Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.
Johnny: “Well, how’s the business going?”
Bula: “Bad brother, sorry about everything!”
Johnny: “Why?”
Bula: “I don’t have any chickens anymore!”
Johnny: “Good god, why?”
Bula: “If I know, I think I’m doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or don’t water them enough, but one doesn’t raise the hen.”
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A chicken and an egg walk into a bar.
The barman says, “Who’s first?”
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Psychiatrist: “What seems to be the problem?”
Patient: “I think I'm a chicken.”
Psychiatrist: “How long has this been going on?”
Patient: “Ever since I came out of my shell.”
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