Enjoy our team's carefully selected Chelsea Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
What is the difference between José Mourinho and God?
God doesn’t think he’s José Mourinho.
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What is the difference between a Chelsea fan and a Battery?
A battery has a positive side.
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What does Scolari say when Chelsea score?
“Fantastic. Now let us try to get a goal at the other end of the pitch!”
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What do the ministry of magic and Chelsea F.C. fans have in common?
They both find Potter undesirable.
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What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Jackson both have in common?
Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
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How many Chelsea managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. The light bulb lasts longer than any manager.
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What do a fine wine and Chelsea F.C. have in common?
They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
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Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
“Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan.”
So, one of them asked the other: “When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?”
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Mauricio Pochettino and Erik Ten Hag have each been given advent calendars and need to be shown the door.
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