Enjoy our team's carefully selected Cash Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Cash.”
“Cash, who?”
“I didn’t realize you were some kind of nut!”
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An old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him.
He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.
Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor. “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
The real estate agent was aghast, “I’m ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
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Why do boomers make horrible cashiers?
Because they’re afraid of change.
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Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks?
The riverbank.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Cash.”
“Cash, who?”
“Cash me if you can!”
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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make a little over $400 a week, why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, handed the guy $1,600 in cash, and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goofball did here?”
From across the room, a voice said, “Sure, he was the Pizza delivery guy and was just waiting to collect the money.”
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An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy.
The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following, “Mr. Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash. As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.”
The student said, “I see. The ethics question is ‘Do I tell the client?’”
“Wrong answer! The question is ‘Do I tell my partner?’”
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Johnny tried to buy a toy car with Monopoly money at the store.
The cashier said, “There’s no way I can take this. It’s fake.”
Johnny said, “Well, the car’s not real either.”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Cash.”
“Cash, who?”
“No thanks, but I’d love some peanuts.”
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Yo momma is so dumb she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
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