Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bike Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I avoid bike trails after dark.
They are full of cycle paths.
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I banged my bike against the wall today.
It was wheelie unfortunate.
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If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
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I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it.
I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didnβt work anymore, which is understandable.
The bike was already retired.
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I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
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Iβm trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike, but he still canβt seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
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While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm.
I decided to cyclone.
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What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
βGotta take the gouda with the bad.β
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Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris gets 4-wheel drive out of his bicycle.
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Yes, money canβt buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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Whatβs the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?
The pavement.
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One day, both the elephant and the ant are going to movie on a bike. They met with an accident.
The ant died in the accident, but the elephant was safe. How?
Because the elephant was wearing helmet.
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Have you heard about the new game getting released?
Itβs AI is 20 years ahead of itβs time, the graphics are truly real life, it has an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible.
Itβs called βGo outside and ride your bike!β.
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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. Heβs got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, βWhatβs in the bags?β
βSand,β answered Juan.
The guard says, βWeβll just see about that, get off the bike!β
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the manβs shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, βWhat have you got?β
βSand,β says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesnβt show up one day and the guard later meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
βHey, Buddy,β says the guard, βI know you are smuggling something. Itβs driving me crazy. Itβs all I think about. I canβt sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?β
Juan sips his beer and says, βBicycles.β
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Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle.
Mickey asked, βGoofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?β
Goofy replied, βBecause it is too tired to walk.β
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Two engineering students were crossing campus when one asked the other, βWhere did you get such a great bike?β
The second engineer replied, βWell, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, βTake what you want.β
The second engineer nodded approvingly, βGood choice, the clothes probably wouldnβt have fit you.β
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Who do you sell second hand bikes to?
A re-cyclist.
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Some cyclists are like clowns:
They dress funny.
They donβt follow any rules.
If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.
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What do a cyclist and a politician have in common?
Both demand you respect them, but donβt want to follow the same rules as you.
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Iβm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.
I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.
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Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?
Because once he left his right turn signal on.
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Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road, with a car honking furiously behind him.
So we drove over and asked the guy, βWhy donβt you move to the side and let the car overtake you?β
The guy replied, βI am trying!β
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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How did the barber win the bike race?
He took a short cut.
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A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.
βWhere are you going?β he asks.
βTo the cemetery,β she replies.
Guy: βAnd who is going to return the bike?β
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine product, and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, βSon, how old are you?β
βEight,β the boy replied.
The man continued, βDo you know what these are used for?β
The boy replied, βNot exactly, but they arenβt for me. Theyβre for him. Heβs my brother. Heβs four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he canβt do either.β
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I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels. Guess what?
It woo-den start.
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