Enjoy our team's carefully selected Bacon Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
Did you hear about the people who were sick in June from eating bacon past its use-by date?
It was mayhem.
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How is bacon like southern Europe?
It’s got a lot of Greece in it.
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Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth?
It’s meteor.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bacon.”
“Bacon, who?”
“Bacon me crazy waiting for breakfast!”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bacon.”
“Bacon, who?”
“Bacon a cake for your birthday.”
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Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
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Which actor is now being quarantined for swine flu?
Kevin Bacon.
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I shouted to my Mom on Mother’s Day, “How does breakfast in bed sound?”
She said, “Ooh that sounds lovely!”
I said, “Great, I’ll have bacon, fries and two eggs.”
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A French couple, an Italian couple and a Polish couple go out to dinner.
The French husband says to his wife, “Pass the honey, honey.”
The Italian man says to his wife, “Pass the sugar, sweety.”
The polish guy, not quite understanding the situation, says to his wife, “Pass the bacon, you fat pig.”
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Why was the bacon tree so angry when the axemen came?
Because he thought it was a ham-bush.
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What did the pig say when he was placed in the desert?
Oh no, I’m bacon.
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What made the pig go to the kitchen?
Because he felt like bacon.
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Why did yogurt hate bacon?
Because he was uncultured.
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What was the name of the bacon movie?
Hamlet.
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Which celebrity had the best kind of smell?
Kevin Bacon.
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What do you call a bacon-wrapped dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork.
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What do you call a bacon with a Scottish accent?
Ham-ish.
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What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish?
Croaky bacon.
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What is a pressing thought of every pig?
“Why do all bacon get cooked and cookies get baked?”
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What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
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An older couple is watching TV and the man stands up and says, “I’m going to the kitchen. Do you want anything?”
His wife answers, “Yes, please get me some chocolate ice cream with sprinkles.”
The man starts to leave, when his wife says, “Honey, are you sure you don’t want to write that down, your doctor said you may need to in order to remember.”
“No, no, I’m sure I’ll remember what you asked for.”
A few minutes later, he returns with fried eggs and toast.
His wife says, “Well, see, you did need to write that down. You completely forgot my bacon!”
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I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off and eat a grilled bacon and cheese sandwich.
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What happens to pigs when they stay in the sun too long?
Turn into bacon.
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