Enjoy our team's carefully selected Autism Jokes. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends!
I’m such a perfectionist that I can’t even fail an autism test.
😄 😄 😄
Me: “You know that foundation called ‘Autism Speaks’?”
My friend: “No, it screeches.”
😄 😄 😄
My friends keep telling me I’m on the autism spectrum.
I can never tell if they’re joking or not.
😄 😄 😄
How many autistics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one. But it will take about two hours while they give you an excruciatingly detailed info dump about the history and technical details of various forms of electric lighting.
😄 😄 😄
Non-autistic person: “Autistic people take everything literally.”
Autistic person: “No, that’s kleptomaniacs.”
😄 😄 😄
One day, a mother sends her son to the market to get some groceries.
She tells him, “You need you to go to the store and get a gallon of milk. If they have avocados, get 6.”
The autistic one comes back with 6 gallons of milk and tells her, “They had avocados.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a stick with autism?
Autistic.
😄 😄 😄
How is being autistic a bit like being a photon?
Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.
😄 😄 😄
How many autistic people does it take to change a lightbulb?
“One, but what do you want me to change it into?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the redneck get colored pencils before he got his flu shot?
He heard that vaccines can make you artistic.
😄 😄 😄
One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter, “Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?”
The guy says, “No, we don’t have onion-flavored ice cream.”
So the kid says, “Ok,” and leaves.
The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question.
The guy again informs him that they don’t carry onion-flavored ice cream.
This goes on for a week, and the guy running the ice cream shop figures the kid is probably autistic.
So, one night, he goes home and starts to work on a recipe for onion-flavored ice cream. He stays up all night working and perfecting onion-flavored ice cream, just for this kid.
Then, the next morning, when the kid comes in at his usual time and asks if they have onion-flavored ice cream, the guy answers him.
“Yes! Yes, we have onion-flavored ice cream!”
The kid replies, “You must be stupid. Who is gonna buy onion-flavored ice cream?!”
😄 😄 😄
