An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn’t wearing his watch.
A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree.
The American approaches the Mexican and asks, “Excuse me, do you know what time is?”
The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, “4:30.”
The American asks, “How do you know that?”
The Mexican replies, “Well you get a handful of the donkey’s balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street.”
😄 😄 😄
Seriously, people need to stop with the National Pi Day jokes.
I’ve heard them all like 3.14 million times already.
😄 😄 😄
Quarantine has been hard. I’ve run out of toilet paper, and have to use lettuce leaves.
It’s only going to get worse, though... this is just the tip of the iceberg.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the nerd who used to only study Uranus?
He was expelled for being too cheeky.
😄 😄 😄
I said to my teacher, “I don’t think I deserved a zero for this exam.”
She said, “I agree, but I couldn’t give you any less.”
😄 😄 😄
Spider bite created Spider-Man. What would a dog’s bite create?
Doberman.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag?
The French flag!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the cow go to the BBQ restaurant?
She had her reputation at stake.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Abby.”
“Abby, who?”
“Abby birthday to you!”
😄 😄 😄
What disorder will Spider-Man get as he ages?
Peter Parkinsons.
😄 😄 😄
A woman in England gives birth every 30 seconds.
She must be exhausted.
😄 😄 😄
I hated my haircut at first...
But now it’s starting to grow on me.
😄 😄 😄
I was sick and told my mom I had a runny nose.
She told me, “You should tell it to walk instead.”
😄 😄 😄
Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
😄 😄 😄
Why do hardcore raiders smell?
Because they never wipe.
😄 😄 😄
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow, “What the heck are you doing down there?”
And the fellow shouts back, “Yoga!”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
😄 😄 😄
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.
They call it the enter prize.
😄 😄 😄
The phone rang at my work.
My boss asked, “Why don’t you answer it?”
I said, “I’ll let it ring for a while. That way they’ll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.”
My boss shouted, “ANSWER IT NOW!”
I picked up the phone and said, “911, what’s the emergency?”
😄 😄 😄
A wife tells her husband, “I’m just going to pop over to Jenny next door for 5 minutes, don’t forget to stir the curry every half an hour!”
😄 😄 😄
