Yo mama is so fat she did the Kessel run instantly because she is on both sides of it.
😄 😄 😄
A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice-looking VR set.
Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, “What happens if this doesn’t work?”
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, ‘GUARANTEE NO SPOILED’.
Feeling assured, he paid for the VR set and returns to his hotel.
He tried to use the VR set after returning to the hotel, but it wouldn’t even switch on.
He quickly returned to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit.
When the shopkeeper refuses to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of the guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, “Brother, you are in China. We read from the right to the left.”
😄 😄 😄
How can Minecraft players avoid sunburn?
Sunblock.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call the 1st of November?
Octover.
😄 😄 😄
Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.
😄 😄 😄
“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.
😄 😄 😄
Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?
Because his doctor said steaks were bad for his heart.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so short she sleeps in a mini house.
😄 😄 😄
What pronouns does an ambulance prefer?
Wee/woo.
😄 😄 😄
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your face is going to meet my shoe.
😄 😄 😄
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition.
This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the cops arrest the donut baker?
He was caught pinching the salt.
😄 😄 😄
Non-autistic person: “Autistic people take everything literally.”
Autistic person: “No, that’s kleptomaniacs.”
😄 😄 😄
Co-worker asked me, “If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has superpowers, who would be the winners?”
Your Parents when you move out.
😄 😄 😄
Why do some people not like a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys?
Because of fowl language.
😄 😄 😄
What did the girl say to Bald Bill when they were engaged?
She said, “God was generous to you. He gave you a lovely face and room for one more.”
😄 😄 😄
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?
Rabbit De Niro.
😄 😄 😄
You make me hap-pea.
😄 😄 😄
What is a bank card’s favorite fruit?
A PIN-apple.
😄 😄 😄
