Why did the baker stop making donuts?
He got tired of the HOLE business.
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What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
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What search engine does Super Mario use?
Yahoo!
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When Chuck Norris opens an account they have to accept his terms and conductions.
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Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It’s the depth charges.
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Your sister is so ugly when she goes to the bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Tank.”
“Tank, who?”
“You’re welcome!”
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The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.
I’m just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.
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Being an electrician really wasn’t the career I wanted, but I still go to work every day with a conduit attitude.
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Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
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A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.
His trainer walked up and asked, “What gives?”
The boxer replied, “I’m exercising my rights.”
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You so dumb you once tried to exchange a bib number because you thought the whole thing was printed upside down.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter.
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What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
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What type of tomato smells best?
A Roma.
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Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
To reach the high notes.
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Why’s it called a Caesar salad?
Because Caesar ruled the romaines.
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Why do Baby Boomers always pay by cheque?
Because they hate change.
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Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with.
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Chuck Norris can punch you in the back of the face.
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