Best Jokes (95)



The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

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Did you hear about the hairdresser?

She dyed.

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I couldn’t figure out why my data wasn’t coming out like my classmate’s, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.

I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.

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It’s hotter than a redhead’s getting a parking ticket.

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Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game.

The Queen doesn’t wear a burkha.

The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.

The Queen is more powerful than the King.

The Queen goes alone to the opponent’s territory.

Most importantly, there’s only one Queen.

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What’s the first month of the year in Transylvania?

Janu-eerie.

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A few guys in Spider-Man costumes walked into a bar.

Apparently, they were web designers!

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Why does the Easter Bunny drink beer?

He loves the hops.

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What does a squirrel wear on its feet?

Cashews.

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What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool?

His lightsaber.

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What type of elf has lots of books?

A bookshelf.

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which is the most feminine candy?

it’s Hershey!

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On the moon they love a fancy breakfast, today they are having crescents!

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What did one ghost say to the other?

Get a life!

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The dad says, β€œA man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”

The kid replies, β€œI hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”

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What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?

One baked with May-flour.

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An English teacher was getting late for school on Teachers’ Day.

Suddenly, a cop pulled him over and asked for papers.

He gladly gave him all of his students’ essays to grade and drove off.

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Who is the only Looney Tunes character with a doctorate?

Elmer PhD.

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May the force be with you this morning, but first, coffee!

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Why is Patrick Star Arabic?

Because he lives under Iraq.

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