What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
Because he didn’t want to walk in his sleep.
😄 😄 😄
I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered?
Spook-eti.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat when I saw her on Tinder, swiped left and she was still on the screen.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Sue.”
“Sue, who?”
“Sue-prise! It’s April Fool!”
😄 😄 😄
What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?
The WURST!
😄 😄 😄
It’s so cold, your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Who.”
“Who, who?”
“I didn’t know that you are an owl!”
😄 😄 😄
A web developer walks into a restaurant.
He immediately leaves in disgust as the restaurant was laid out in tables.
😄 😄 😄
I want to make a Facebook account, and the name will be Nobody, so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it.
And it will say “Nobody likes this”.
😄 😄 😄
A broke guy walks past a pub. He looks at the door longingly, but since he has no money, he walks on.
Just then, he spots a lamp lying in the gutter. He picks it up and rubs it, and a genie emerges.
“I will grant you three wishes,” intones the genie.
“Give me a bottomless mug of beer,” the guy says.
A mug of beer appears in his hand. He takes a sip, then another. With each chug, the mug magically refills.
“And for your other two wishes?”
Between swallows, the lucky guy shouts, “Give me two more just like this one!”
😄 😄 😄
What did the sad man say to the man at the dessert counter?
Donut kill my vibe!
😄 😄 😄
Why doesn’t the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
😄 😄 😄
When Chuck Norris opens an account they have to accept his terms and conductions.
😄 😄 😄
The moon is so cheeky, it’s always playing lunar-tricks.
😄 😄 😄
What did the man do when he saw a hot dog?
He put it in the shade.
😄 😄 😄
The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
😄 😄 😄
What condiment should you always use in May?
Mayo.
😄 😄 😄
