Yo mama so small she has to wear a torn napkin as a dress.
π π π
What did the mom say when her kid dropped their hot dog?
It could always be wurst!
π π π
When Chuck Norris looks into the mirror it breaks because nobody gets between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
π π π
Why did the eyeglasses walk into the classroom quietly?
They didnβt want to make a spectacle.
π π π
There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisβ beard. There is only another fist.
π π π
Bula decides itβs time to become a businessman, so after reading many chicken jokes, it seems like a chicken farm would be the best idea.
Said and done. First, buy 100 chickens, after the second month another 100, and keep it for a whole year.
After a year, at the New Yearβs Eve party, he meets Johnny, who used to say the best chicken jokes before.
Johnny: βWell, howβs the business going?β
Bula: βBad brother, sorry about everything!β
Johnny: βWhy?β
Bula: βI donβt have any chickens anymore!β
Johnny: βGood god, why?β
Bula: βIf I know, I think Iβm doing something wrong. Either I plant them too deeply or donβt water them enough, but one doesnβt raise the hen.β
π π π
What did Bruce Banner say to Spider-Man?
Donβt bug me!
π π π
Never break someoneβs heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
π π π
How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change it, five to moan about it, and Ferguson to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would have never gone out.
π π π
What does a polite mushroom say?
βThank you very mush!β
π π π
Working for a marketing agency is a real ad venture.
π π π
Whatβs the favorite genre of music on Uranus?
Space Opera.
π π π
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people donβt?
Depreciation.
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Why do shoppers feel like cranberry sauce on Black Friday?
They get bruised, battered and squished into pulp trying to get to the bargain bin.
π π π
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
π π π
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to do it, and four to say βI can do thatβ.
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βBoo.β
βBoo, who?β
βDonβt cry, itβs your birthday!β
π π π
Whatβs worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
π π π
My friend said he was in a blue funk.
But I told him not to worry because Iβm an expert at funk-squashing.
π π π
What does Spider-man wear when it gets cold out?
A Peter Parka.
π π π