Joke’s on you, April Fools’ Day.
I can be fooled any day of the year.
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If Uranus was a comedian, it would always crack jokes with a little bit of gas.
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“Why don’t you want to taco about it?”
“Because I’m nacho friend anymore.”
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I complained to my math teacher that it was too cold in the classroom.
He told me to stand in the corner. Because the corner is 90 degrees.
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Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
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Yo momma’s so fat Yoda couldn’t use the Force to move her.
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I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog.
After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasn’t good for dogs.
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A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wa-Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket, she would say “And here’s something for you, Diploma” or “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma” and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, “Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?”
The grandmother replied, “I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia, and this is what she came home with!”
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Why did the alien go off in his ship?
He needed some space
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
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I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light.
Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
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Note to self:
before baby-talking to the cat, make sure conference call has disconnected.
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Why do people go to Disneyland?
So they can get a little Goofy.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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How is OpenAI improving ChatGPT?
Bit by bit.
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The Oxford comma is necessary, critical and essential.
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An anteater walks into a bar.
“Having a nice day?” asks the barman.
“Noooooooo, noooooo, noooooo!” says the anteater.
“Why the long nos?” asks the barman.
“It’s always been like this,” says the anteater.
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When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
So if I show someone a shower, do I become a shower?
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Chuck Norris doesn’t use a vibrating toothbrush.
His plastic one trembles in fear.
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My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today.
Cleanup was a breeze.
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