What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
😄 😄 😄
Some local engineers took a train for a service.
But the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a streetcar that plays pranks on people?
A troll-ey.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so fat I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
😄 😄 😄
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Quick, jump out the window,” she says to him.
“What???” the guy says. “We’re on the 13th floor!”
She says, “Just jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”
😄 😄 😄
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
😄 😄 😄
I went to lunch with a champion chess player.
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt.
😄 😄 😄
Why do polar bears only live at the North Pole?
Because if they also lived at the South Pole, they would be bipolar bears.
😄 😄 😄
This culture of inclusiveness is getting out of hand.
I mean, even Jurassic Park engineered a Trannysaurus Rex.
😄 😄 😄
The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
😄 😄 😄
What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
“Cactus if you can!”
😄 😄 😄
I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit’s feet.
I thought he’s pushing his luck!
😄 😄 😄
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling.
It’s a gnocchia.
😄 😄 😄
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
😄 😄 😄
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme.
They stopped building monuments immediately.
😄 😄 😄
A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.
The teacher says, “What’s this?”
The kid says, “A picture of a cow eating grass.”
The teacher asks, “Where’s the grass?”
The kid says, “The cow ate it all.”
“Ok, then where’s the cow?”
“It left because there was no more grass.”
😄 😄 😄
My lucky day! I didn’t have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta.
I couldn’t afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.
😄 😄 😄
It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed.
Nobody wants a loyal snake.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
😄 😄 😄
Why was the florist afraid of roses?
Quite honestly, she didn’t know where the fear stemmed from.
😄 😄 😄
