In honor of Area 51, what do you call too many aliens in one place?
Extra terrestrials.
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YouTube disabled the dislike counter.
I would say that everyone disliked that, but I honestly can’t tell.
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What is a math teacher’s favorite tree?
Geometry.
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Yo mama’s so fat that she caused Kamino to flood when her water broke.
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Every year, after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits.
I can do it because I have lots of cold turkey.
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TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there.
I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
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What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
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Whats the difference between a diamond player and a master player in League of Legends?
About 1400 dollars.
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Teacher: “Which is the best hand to use when writing something, the left hand or the right hand?”
Pupil: “None of them. It’s better to use a pen or pencil.”
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Yo mama’s so hairy that when she was born she looked like Chewbacca!
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... with a stick.
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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
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Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons.
Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
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What’s Stephen Hawking’s least favorite song?
“Stairway to Heaven.”
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Have you heard of the golfer who opened a colonoscopy clinic?
He does 18 holes a day.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ivana.”
“Ivana, who?”
“Ivana kiss your lips.”
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What makes nuts healthy?
They have many nut-rients.
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Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
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It’s the cold and flu time of year.
Or, as I like to call it, Vitamin C-son.
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What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
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