Yo daddy is so dumb he got hit by a parked car.
😄 😄 😄
Why are people from New York always depressed?
Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.
😄 😄 😄
I found out why flamingos stand with one leg pulled up...
If they pulled up both legs, they would fall over.
😄 😄 😄
Why don’t flu viruses use social media?
They prefer going viral in person.
😄 😄 😄
The moon has been talking for a long time now, I think it’s just moon-ologging at this point!
😄 😄 😄
What is the common thing between an entrepreneur and a suicide bomber?
Do the job well on the first try and they are set for life.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!”
😄 😄 😄
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
😄 😄 😄
Why did the banana go to the hairdresser?
Because it had split ends.
😄 😄 😄
Dev was a coder and wanted to marry a girl, but his parents opposed.
DEVELOPED.
😄 😄 😄
Let’s be frank... you’re OLD!
😄 😄 😄
I’m thinking of switching my major to geology.
I think I’d do well because I keep discovering a new rock bottom.
😄 😄 😄
My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
😄 😄 😄
How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a warm beverage?
“Tea, Rex?”
😄 😄 😄
What kinds of beer makes you urinate vowels?
IPAs.
😄 😄 😄
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they’ll change it back.
It’s only a phase, after all.
😄 😄 😄
Spider-Man came all the way down here to tell me I dropped his phone number.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Toast.”
“Toast, who?”
“Toasting to a delicious breakfast!”
😄 😄 😄
I told my friends I was a blood-sucking insect from the moon.
They said I was a luna tick.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?
Bob.
😄 😄 😄
