Yo mama so dumb when she got locked in a grocery store she starved to death.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the most common operation in a Lego hospital?
Plastic surgery.
😄 😄 😄
Are you from Paris?
Because Eiffel for you.
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What did Santa get the day after Christmas?
Diabetes.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Lenny.”
“Lenny, who?”
“Lenny know when you’re done with these April Fools’ Day jokes.”
😄 😄 😄
“Alcohol may intensify the effects of this medication”
I never know if this is a warning or a suggestion...
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How can you tell a boy dragon from a girl dragon?
Fireballs.
😄 😄 😄
Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar.
I hate Bounty Hunters.
😄 😄 😄
In honor of St. Patrick’s day, I’m here to tell you everything I know about leprechauns.
Very little.
😄 😄 😄
Marriage is love.
Love is blind.
Marriage is an institution.
Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
😄 😄 😄
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the carpenter take time off on Labor Day?
He needed to hammer out his vacation plans.
😄 😄 😄
A man called 911 regarding a fly problem.
They sent a SWAT team.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference in definition of complete vs. finished?
When you marry the right woman, you are complete.
When you marry the wrong woman, you are finished.
When the right woman finds you with the wrong woman, you are completely finished.
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Yo mama so poor when I stepped on a cigarette to put it out she said “Hey, who turned off the heat?”
😄 😄 😄
Why do T-Rexes have such bad anger issues?
Because their fathers never hugged them.
😄 😄 😄
How does a tiger move a boat?
He uses roars.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Smurfs kick Papa Smurf out of their village?
He was giving them all the blues.
😄 😄 😄
What does a mushroom sit on?
A toadstool.
😄 😄 😄
