I don’t like people who do not cover their mouths and noses when they sneeze.
These people make me sick.
😄 😄 😄
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat Cupid’s arrows couldn’t pierce her.
😄 😄 😄
An electrician is a bright spark who knows what’s watt.
😄 😄 😄
I don’t want to be Spider-Man, I just want to be your man.
😄 😄 😄
What is a DnD cleric’s favorite car manufacturer?
Ford, because I’ve never seen a cleric without their focus.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when a giant steps on a house?
Mush-rooms.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma so fat she can’t reach her back pocket.
😄 😄 😄
What happened to the Elf on the Shelf who met a skunk?
He became elfully stinky!
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot Siri asked to be dipped in a glass of ice water.
😄 😄 😄
I am half Spider-Man, half Batman, and half Moon Knight...
Poor.
With no powers.
With mental disorders.
😄 😄 😄
Why does Spider-Man spin webs?
Because he doesn’t know how to knit.
😄 😄 😄
They say it’s good luck for a seagull to poo on you.
It is, for the seagull, obviously, not for you.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the grape go to school?
To become a little wine-y!
😄 😄 😄
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
😄 😄 😄
My racehorse’s name is Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.
😄 😄 😄
Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road, with a car honking furiously behind him.
So we drove over and asked the guy, “Why don’t you move to the side and let the car overtake you?”
The guy replied, “I am trying!”
😄 😄 😄
What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?
Snickers—he only snickers!
😄 😄 😄
Your father must have been the greatest thief in history.
He stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.
And heh, I guess it runs in the family. ’Cause you stole my heart.
😄 😄 😄
So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him, “What do you want your last meal to be?”
“Strawberries,” he responds.
“But it’s winter. We can’t get strawberries until spring.”
“Eh... I’ll wait.”
😄 😄 😄
