What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
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“Do you know the difference between a fly and an elephant?”
“No.”
“Wow! You’d better see somebody then.”
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Yo mamma’s so ugly Rancors look at her and go “Damn, dude, she’s UGLY!”.
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The house cleaner told me that she was going to start working from home, so she sent me a list of chores.
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If you think that no one cares you’re alive...
Just try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
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What makes a traffic jam better?
Adding peanut butter to it.
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How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?
They all have square eyes.
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Why are elephant’s noses so big?
So they can scratch their bums!
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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one.
And the other two escaped with minor injuries.
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I’ve just bought a new pair of spider silk trousers.
They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.
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What’s a blue shoe?
A shoe with the blues.
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What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
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Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.
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Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
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Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.
I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...
That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!
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Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS.
He had too many deductions.
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The house is on fire!
Wake up!
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A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.
He refused to comment.
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She’s feeling so blue.
She might as well be called the ocean.
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My friends keep telling me I’m on the autism spectrum.
I can never tell if they’re joking or not.
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