I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love.
It never got published.
It was all in vein.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Interrupting cow.”
“Interrup...”
“Moooooooo!”
😄 😄 😄
My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl.
I replied that I didn’t know he played cricket.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects?
A con artist.
😄 😄 😄
I entered what I ate today into my new fitness app on my phone.
It sent an ambulance to my house.
😄 😄 😄
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.
😄 😄 😄
Pulled out a couple of nose hairs to see if it hurts.
Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems very painful.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the first sign that you have caught bird flu?
Fowl symptoms.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so dumb she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.
😄 😄 😄
April Fools’ Day.
The day, every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
😄 😄 😄
What did the turkey say during Thanksgiving?
It was too stuffed to say anything.
😄 😄 😄
What monster plays the most April Fools’ jokes?
Prankenstein!
😄 😄 😄
What’s a bowling ball’s favorite sweet?
Skittles!
😄 😄 😄
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing someone’s cast.
😄 😄 😄
which is the most feminine candy?
it’s Hershey!
😄 😄 😄
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends’ food looked like.
😄 😄 😄
It’s as cold as a brass toilet in an outhouse in Alaska.
😄 😄 😄
What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?
“Wow! Donut seeds!”
😄 😄 😄
I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.
It was a Wookie mistake.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
😄 😄 😄
