Best Jokes (95)



Why doΒ registered nurses bring a red crayon to work?

In case, they have to draw blood.

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How did the data scientist get his girlfriend to become an attractive model?

By training her.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper?

Dude sold his soul to Santa.

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How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern?

Use a pumpkin patch.

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What does a bass guitar and a baseball have in common?

People cheer when you hit them with a bat.

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If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

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Why did Chuck Norris destroy the periodic table?

Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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What did Bruno Mars bring to the Thanksgiving Potluck?

24 Karat cakes.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œWho who.”

β€œWho who, who?”

β€œSanta is that you?”

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Why did the llama win the rap battle?

Because he was good at spitting.

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What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

β€œOK Boomer!”

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Around 80% of all Asians who move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

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Remember when you ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s?

His parents were pissed.

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How do bulls write?

With a bullpen.

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Can you guess what the left eye said to the right eye?

Between you and I, something smells.

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What do you call a Volleyball player who hurt her knee diving for the ball?

Courtney.

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How do you keep a violin from being stolen?

Put it in a viola case.

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What does a bookworm do during a baseball game?

Worm the bench.

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Bird flu.

Bird landed.

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My son identifies as a crescent moon.

I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.

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