I went to lunch with a champion chess player.
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt.
π π π
Why do polar bears only live at the North Pole?
Because if they also lived at the South Pole, they would be bipolar bears.
π π π
This culture of inclusiveness is getting out of hand.
I mean, even Jurassic Park engineered a Trannysaurus Rex.
π π π
The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
π π π
What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
βCactus if you can!β
π π π
I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbitβs feet.
I thought heβs pushing his luck!
π π π
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling.
Itβs a gnocchia.
π π π
My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
π π π
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme.
They stopped building monuments immediately.
π π π
A kid in school hands in a blank piece of paper for his art homework.
The teacher says, βWhatβs this?β
The kid says, βA picture of a cow eating grass.β
The teacher asks, βWhereβs the grass?β
The kid says, βThe cow ate it all.β
βOk, then whereβs the cow?β
βIt left because there was no more grass.β
π π π
My lucky day! I didnβt have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta.
I couldnβt afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford.
π π π
Itβs a good thing snakes and dogs donβt interbreed.
Nobody wants a loyal snake.
π π π
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chickenβs foot.
π π π
Why was the florist afraid of roses?
Quite honestly, she didnβt know where the fear stemmed from.
π π π
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
π π π
Whatβs the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says βSpit your gum out!β and the train says βChew, chew!β
π π π
What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honey-earth!
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βOwls.β
βOwls, who?β
βYes, the last time I checked, they do.β
π π π
Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims?
Halal Cool J.
π π π
Yo mamaβs so fat that if she was thrown into the second Death Starβs reactor core, she could have blown up the entire Imperial fleet.
π π π