Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bertha.”
“Bertha, who?”
“Happy Bertha Day to you.”
😄 😄 😄
It’s hotter than a fat kid at a Weenie Roast.
😄 😄 😄
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever is bugging them.
😄 😄 😄
What language is anatomy in?
Body language.
😄 😄 😄
Whenever my wife asks me to clean the kitchen, I show her funny videos until she forgets she asked.
But now she says she’s had enough of my delaying TikToks.
😄 😄 😄
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a bacon-wrapped dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork.
😄 😄 😄
“Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 CD’s...?
“Sure thanks!”
“...to see DEEZ NUTZ!”
😄 😄 😄
I wanted to go bowling, but the pins were on strike.
😄 😄 😄
What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?
McLady.
😄 😄 😄
Why do bananas use sunscreen?
So they don’t peel.
😄 😄 😄
Life is gourd.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Smiley moji :-) drop the nose :)?
It was too negative.
😄 😄 😄
Guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off?
A human driver.
😄 😄 😄
Want to get an idea how important you are during a government shutdown?
IRS REFUND department: Non-essential
IRS Audit department: Essential
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear that the FBI recently put data scientists on their watch list?
They are definitely plotting something.
😄 😄 😄
So this chicken walks up to a turkey and says, “Hey, turkey! I’ve always wondered something…”
Turkey’s like, “Yeah. What’s up?”
And so the chicken says, “That thing. You know, that flap of skin or whatever that’s hanging down over your beak. What do you call that thing?”
And the turkey crosses his eyes and looks down and says, “Beak? What beak?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Java developer teach his young kids about single quotes?
Because they build character.
😄 😄 😄
A man approaches a priest.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” he says. “I’ve spent the week with seven beautiful women.”
“Do not fret, my son,” says the priest. “All you need to do is take seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass, and drink the juice.”
“Will that cleanse my sin from me?”
“No, but it’ll wipe that smile off your face.”
😄 😄 😄
