Best Jokes (95)



What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?

Quatro sinko.

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β€œDo you know the difference between a fly and an elephant?”

β€œNo.”

β€œWow! You’d better see somebody then.”

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Yo mamma’s so ugly Rancors look at her and go β€œDamn, dude, she’s UGLY!”.

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The house cleaner told me that she was going to start working from home, so she sent me a list of chores.

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If you think that no one cares you’re alive...

Just try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

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What makes a traffic jam better?

Adding peanut butter to it.

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How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?

They all have square eyes.

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Why are elephant’s noses so big?

So they can scratch their bums!

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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one.

And the other two escaped with minor injuries.

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I’ve just bought a new pair of spider silk trousers.

They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.

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What’s a blue shoe?

A shoe with the blues.

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What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?

Nestle Crunk bar.

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Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.

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Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken!

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Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert.

I thought they’d be gross, but they were actually pretty good. Turns out...

That in-prison mint isn’t as bad as I expected!

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Sherlock Holmes got audited by the IRS.

He had too many deductions.

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The house is on fire!

Wake up!

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A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.

He refused to comment.

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She’s feeling so blue.

She might as well be called the ocean.

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My friends keep telling me I’m on the autism spectrum.

I can never tell if they’re joking or not.

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