What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
Juan in a million.
😄 😄 😄
Latest space news:
Uranus has a huge split in it and is leaking methane.
😄 😄 😄
Candice balls fit up your nose.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Abby.”
“Abby, who?”
“Abby birthday to you!”
😄 😄 😄
Why do people love blue jokes?
They’re so pun-derful.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain?
A peak experience.
😄 😄 😄
Why is the moon so grumpy?
It’s just going through one of its phases.
😄 😄 😄
What happens if a tree falls into mud?
It leafs an impression.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch.
He decides what time it is.
😄 😄 😄
It’s always good to find out you’re going to be working from home.
Unless you’re a firefighter.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a hip bone that’s late for surgery?
Hip-late.
😄 😄 😄
I got really hungry when we visited the Alpaca Farm, next time Alpaca lunch.
😄 😄 😄
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
“If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”, he asked her.
The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings.”
😄 😄 😄
It’s hotter than a redhead’s getting a parking ticket.
😄 😄 😄
Yo sister so fat the only way she burns calories is when her food catches on fire.
😄 😄 😄
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
😄 😄 😄
Is your dad an alien because you’re out of this world?
😄 😄 😄
What a pun’s dream job?
To be an acu-pun-cturist.
😄 😄 😄
Why do poets go to the zoo to use the restroom?
So they can poo in the loo at the zoo.
😄 😄 😄
One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home, he spotted a nun walking down the road.
After looking at her twice, he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.
Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.
As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs, he looked back and shouted, “I thought you’d be tougher than that, Batman!”
😄 😄 😄
