I’m an annoying on the outside, but I’m like an onion.
You peel back the layers, find the same thing and just start crying.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
😄 😄 😄
What haircut does a Rastafarian ask for when he is questioning life?
Existential dreads!
😄 😄 😄
The real space question that not even NASA can answer is why do we classify Uranus as a planet and not as a black hole?
😄 😄 😄
What is Loki’s least favorite day of the week?
Thor’s Day.
😄 😄 😄
What does Bob Marley say to his friends when they come around for donuts and coffee?
“I hope you like jam in too.”
😄 😄 😄
You are so dumb you tried to alphabetize M&Ms.
😄 😄 😄
What did the butcher say to his girlfriend on their first date?
“Nice to meat you.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a pretty woman on the arm of a musician?
A tattoo.
😄 😄 😄
Why is teamwork important?
It helps to put the blame on someone else!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the big Lego sale?
People were lined up for blocks.
😄 😄 😄
After the Americans went to the Moon, Murphy and Declan announced that the Kerry Men would go one better and send a man to the Sun.
Murphy objected, “If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!”
“What do you think we are, stupid?” Declan replied, “We’ll send our
man at night!”
😄 😄 😄
Why does Batman hate April Fools’ Day?
Because the Joker might be out!
😄 😄 😄
A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
😄 😄 😄
What drink goes with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Nut-tea.
😄 😄 😄
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had two missed calls from Chuck Norris.
😄 😄 😄
What do Arsenal and a shampoo bottle have in common?
Both struggle with “no more tears”.
😄 😄 😄
Why is the Elf on the Shelf’s favorite school subject?
Spilling.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said "Sorry, no professionals".
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you cross ginger with a Jamaican?
Gingerbreadmon.
😄 😄 😄
