My brother has a pilot’s license but only uses it for private flights. So he placed advertisements all over the plane.
Now he flies commercial.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a detective electrician?
Sherlock Ohms.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a balloon?
Pop!
😄 😄 😄
What’s the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They’re under a buck.
😄 😄 😄
Teacher: “Which book has helped you the most in your life?”
Student: “My father’s checkbook.”
😄 😄 😄
Why do Polish people have ski at the end of their names?
Because they can’t spell toboggan.
😄 😄 😄
What do the San Francisco 49ers playoff run and the Civil War have in common?
Both of them were ended by a man named Sherman.
😄 😄 😄
I’ve been listening to Harry Styles’ new music recently and I must say...
He has gotten a lot better ever since he went in the other direction.
😄 😄 😄
Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors’ autographs?
They’ve both come from the stars.
😄 😄 😄
My favorite April Fools’ Day prank is pretending I’m going to leave my couch.
On my way out.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the blue alien that landed on Earth?
He had an out of this world.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so old George Washington cut down your Christmas tree.
😄 😄 😄
Good friends are like toasters.
If you throw them down the stairs, they probably won’t make toast for you anymore.
😄 😄 😄
Remember the sign at McDonald’s that said, “We do not accept bills over $20.”
Trust me, if we had more than $20, we wouldn’t be eating at McDonald’s.
😄 😄 😄
Your head is so big that you need to be careful to stay away from needles and pins, so it doesn’t pop.
😄 😄 😄
Why do frogs love St. Patrick’s Day?
They’re always wearing green.
😄 😄 😄
What do Indians, Pilgrims, and Puritans have in common?
The letter ‘I’.
😄 😄 😄
I’m in a really boring geology class.
I dust can’t sand it.
😄 😄 😄
How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting?
They start painting the m letters upside-down.
How do you know that workers in factory that produces M&M’s are protesting really hard?
They paint the m letters on the wrong side of the chocolate candy.
😄 😄 😄
Why did Uranus start a comedy club?
Because it wanted to be the butt of all jokes.
😄 😄 😄
