Me: “I’m not able to stop making jokes.”
Doctor: “You can’t be serious.”
Me: “That’s right.”
😄 😄 😄
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
St. O’Claus.
😄 😄 😄
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
😄 😄 😄
Your mama so old when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick!
😄 😄 😄
No one turns on their camera in Zoom.
They have been infected by Novid-19.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
It was melondramatic.
😄 😄 😄
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
😄 😄 😄
What do peanuts wear on their feet?
Cashews.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Bertha.”
“Bertha, who?”
“Happy Bertha Day to you.”
😄 😄 😄
It’s hotter than a fat kid at a Weenie Roast.
😄 😄 😄
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever is bugging them.
😄 😄 😄
What language is anatomy in?
Body language.
😄 😄 😄
Whenever my wife asks me to clean the kitchen, I show her funny videos until she forgets she asked.
But now she says she’s had enough of my delaying TikToks.
😄 😄 😄
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a bacon-wrapped dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork.
😄 😄 😄
“Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 CD’s...?
“Sure thanks!”
“...to see DEEZ NUTZ!”
😄 😄 😄
I wanted to go bowling, but the pins were on strike.
😄 😄 😄
What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?
McLady.
😄 😄 😄
Why do bananas use sunscreen?
So they don’t peel.
😄 😄 😄
Life is gourd.
😄 😄 😄
