The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
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Did you hear about the hairdresser?
She dyed.
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I couldn’t figure out why my data wasn’t coming out like my classmate’s, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula.
I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change.
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It’s hotter than a redhead’s getting a parking ticket.
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Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game.
The Queen doesn’t wear a burkha.
The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
The Queen is more powerful than the King.
The Queen goes alone to the opponent’s territory.
Most importantly, there’s only one Queen.
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What’s the first month of the year in Transylvania?
Janu-eerie.
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A few guys in Spider-Man costumes walked into a bar.
Apparently, they were web designers!
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Why does the Easter Bunny drink beer?
He loves the hops.
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What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews.
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What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
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What type of elf has lots of books?
A bookshelf.
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which is the most feminine candy?
it’s Hershey!
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On the moon they love a fancy breakfast, today they are having crescents!
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What did one ghost say to the other?
Get a life!
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The dad says, “A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.”
The kid replies, “I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!”
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What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
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An English teacher was getting late for school on Teachers’ Day.
Suddenly, a cop pulled him over and asked for papers.
He gladly gave him all of his students’ essays to grade and drove off.
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Who is the only Looney Tunes character with a doctorate?
Elmer PhD.
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May the force be with you this morning, but first, coffee!
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Why is Patrick Star Arabic?
Because he lives under Iraq.
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