What is a soldier’s most active day of the year?
March forth!
😄 😄 😄
Did you know that China has a policy where a certain amount of pandas must live in the country?
To be fair, it’s the bear minimum.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so tall when she did a backflip she digs God in the face.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call two ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese?
A paradux.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away!
😄 😄 😄
I once tried to kill a giant mouse with a baseball bat.
Now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyworld.
😄 😄 😄
If you were ice cream, you would be my favorite flavor.
😄 😄 😄
I’m making a comic book about a superhero toilet.
“Billionaire Bidet, Crime Fighter by Night”
😄 😄 😄
Sometimes I feel like Stephen Hawking in the morning.
Because I can’t get out of bed.
😄 😄 😄
The shady workers behind the Mexican restaurant...
That’s nacho business.
😄 😄 😄
How many nuns are there in a temple?
Nun.
😄 😄 😄
What if the Indians would have given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey?
We’d all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving.
😄 😄 😄
If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
😄 😄 😄
Your mama’s so short that when she sat on the curb her feet didn’t touch the ground.
😄 😄 😄
What’s an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor.
😄 😄 😄
I got the book “Internet Forums for Dummies” from a friend.
But I need to take it back, because I already Reddit.
😄 😄 😄
Where do bowlers go when they need a new team shirt?
New Jersey.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy so hairy the Addams Family thought he was Cousin Itt.
😄 😄 😄
Do mummies enjoy being mummies?
Of corpse!
😄 😄 😄
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator.
😄 😄 😄
