Where do dead bowling pins go?
To the pit of doom!
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What’s consistent in every season of Stranger Things?
Steve Harrington losing more brain cells and gaining more children.
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When we were children, we used to refer to our granddad as Spider-Man.
He didn’t have any special powers, he just couldn’t get out of the bath without any assistance.
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I went out the other day and there was a butterfly wrapped up in a web.
A few days later it had turned into a spider.
Natures amazing.
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Why do people take their time walking in February?
Because it’s not March.
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What type of music do Amish people like?
Tech no.
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Important Announcement:
In light of the rising frequency of human and grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field.
They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them.
They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung:
1. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.
2. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
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Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
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Why did Chewbacca get sent back down to play minor league baseball?
He was making too many Wookiee mistakes.
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Friend: “Where were you?”
Me: “I got sick and had to rush to the doctor.”
Friend: “Flu?”
Me: “Nah, just drove really fast.”
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Why did ChatGPT get kicked out of school?
Because it knew too much.
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Your mama’s so short that she has to look up to look down.
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What did the serial killer give his lover for Valentine’s day?
His heart! (Well, not his.)
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What do you call a noun that is very good at its job?
A pronoun.
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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly when it won the lottery?
“We’re rich and jellyous!”
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People say that I’m creative and I couldn’t agree more because I create most of my own problems.
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Are you from Paris?
Because Eiffel for you.
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I caught bird flu while waiting for a flight at the airport.
I have since found out it is a terminal illness.
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The cactus is talking to his wife.
Wife: “You’re so selfish. You have to remember that it’s cact-US.”
Cactus: “Actually, the plural of cactus is catc-I.”
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“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums... Could you use African violets instead?”
Replied the customer sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”
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