Whatโs the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?
Annie Maniac.
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A man walks up to the pearly gates.
Saint Peter asks, โHow did you get here?โ
The man answers, โFlu.โ
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What do you call a single kernel of corn?
A uni-corn.
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The only reason you donโt stress out about anything is because youโre always asleep.
Get up and feel the world. A little bit wonโt hurt you.
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My 2 year old sisterโs stinky feet were smelling like cheese.
My dad was wondering what happened, so I told him that she had chee-toes.
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The cast of The Wizard of Oz go out for ice cream.
The Lion stops licking his cone, yelling, โOuch!โ and gripping his temples.
The Tinman stops licking his cone, yelling, โOuch!โ and gripping his temples.
Dorothy stops licking her cone, yelling, โOuch!โ and gripping her temples.
The Scarecrow says, โWhatโs the matter with you guys?โ
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Iโll just say โmorningโ because a good morning would be much later on a Saturday.
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Youโre so fat you canโt even see your own feet.
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Boebert asked her coworker, โDo you have any kids?โ
โYes,โ she replied, โI have one child thatโs just under two.โ
Then Boebert said, โI might be stupid, but I know how many one is.โ
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My sister and I decided that we want to start our own businesses.
Sheโs going to open a furniture store called โSofa Kingโ and Iโm going to open a soup restaurant next door called โStew Pitโ.
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A group of friends put together a basketball team to play in the local town league and called the team โByeโ.
So far they have accumulated 4 wins from opponentsโ no-shows.
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Yo mammaโs so fat she canโt go to a spaceport because x-wings keep trying to land on her back.
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WFH diary, day 1:
Power went out during recording, construction workers are extra loud today, daughter walked in on a meeting singing โI like banaaaaanasโ at the top of her lungs.
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When Mark Zuckerberg made Facebook, he already had a friend request from Chuck Norris.
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Why are they called the armed forces?
Because itโs hard to fight a war with just your legs.
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Yo mammaโs so stupid she thought Darth Maul was a place to shop.
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For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it in a bottle of ethanol. He then asks his students if it will dissolve.
A student raise his hand to answer.
Student: โNo, it wonโt dissolve, sir.โ
Teacher: โReally good! Now, can you explain to the rest of the class why?โ
Student: โYouโre so cheap, thereโs no way you wouldโve sacrificed that $20.โ
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I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.
It was my managerโs fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.
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They say today is Pi Day.
But for me, it will always be cake day!
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How do you know when you're on a Jewish golf course?
The players donโt yell โFore!โ they yell โ$3.99!โ.
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