Guess why elephants always get the first word?
Because their opinion carries a lot of weight!
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Chuck Norris died yesterday.
No worries, he’s much better already.
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Why should you be quiet inside a pharmacy?
You might wake the sleeping pills.
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I once saw a couple of coders get into a fight.
It was so vicious, they almost made physical contact.
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Baby Yoda’s first word...
Probably came after his second word.
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Why should you marry an Egyptian woman?
They make great mummies.
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What would donuts’ favorite drink be?
The hole-y water.
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My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.
It was a flop.
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Good morning to someone who starts each day by asking the important questions of life: Can I eat leftover pizza for breakfast?
Have a great day!
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A man walked into a Florida bar with his crocodile and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
Bartender: “Sure.”
Man: “Good. One beer for me and a lawyer for my crocodile.”
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What do you call a row of trucks hauling nachos?
A cheesy pickup line.
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How do planets pay each other?
With star bucks.
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What did pi say when someone asked if it could explain what Pi Day was again?
“I don’t want to repeat myself.”
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
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Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.
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Congratulations! You’ve reached the perfect age where you can still party like you’re 21, but recover like you’re 80.
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You know you’re getting old when a lady wants you to pay for her implants.
She means dental implants.
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Did you hear about the clown car that crashed in the middle of nowhere?
There were 30 casualties.
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Why did the elephant decide not to move?
Because he couldn’t lift his trunk.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Your friend.”
“My friend, who?”
“Your friend who needs a key so I can drag you out of bed in the morning, sleepy head!”
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