Best Jokes (95)



Guess why elephants always get the first word?

Because their opinion carries a lot of weight!

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Chuck Norris died yesterday.

No worries, he’s much better already.

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Why should you be quiet inside a pharmacy?

You might wake the sleeping pills.

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I once saw a couple of coders get into a fight.

It was so vicious, they almost made physical contact.

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Baby Yoda’s first word...

Probably came after his second word.

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Why should you marry an Egyptian woman?

They make great mummies.

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What would donuts’ favorite drink be?

The hole-y water.

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My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.

It was a flop.

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Good morning to someone who starts each day by asking the important questions of life: Can I eat leftover pizza for breakfast?

Have a great day!

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A man walked into a Florida bar with his crocodile and asked the bartender, β€œDo you serve lawyers here?”

Bartender: β€œSure.”

Man: β€œGood. One beer for me and a lawyer for my crocodile.”

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What do you call a row of trucks hauling nachos?

A cheesy pickup line.

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How do planets pay each other?

With star bucks.

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What did pi say when someone asked if it could explain what Pi Day was again?

β€œI don’t want to repeat myself.”

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Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!

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Yo daddy is so dumb he sold his car for gas money.

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Congratulations! You’ve reached the perfect age where you can still party like you’re 21, but recover like you’re 80.

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You know you’re getting old when a lady wants you to pay for her implants.

She means dental implants.

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Did you hear about the clown car that crashed in the middle of nowhere?

There were 30 casualties.

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Why did the elephant decide not to move?

Because he couldn’t lift his trunk.

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Knock! Knock!

β€œWho’s there?”

β€œYour friend.”

β€œMy friend, who?”

β€œYour friend who needs a key so I can drag you out of bed in the morning, sleepy head!”

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