Pepito tells his mother from the shower, “Mom, the shampoo is over.”
Mother: “Well, Pepito, use mine then.”
Pepito: “Can’t.”
Mother: “Because?”
Pepito: “Because it says it’s for dry hair, and I already have it wet.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did Yoda cross the road?
Because the chickens forced him to.
😄 😄 😄
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
😄 😄 😄
Why couldn’t the Forsaken get across the road?
Because he didn’t have any guts.
😄 😄 😄
I asked my friend what he was doing to stay happy in his job.
And he said he was always searching for blue skies.
😄 😄 😄
A boy went up to the counter serving orange punch.
He saw there was a huge line and so, he came back after an hour. Guess what?
There was no punchline.
😄 😄 😄
Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt.
People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom?
He was sick of all its shii-take.
😄 😄 😄
I had a race with an Asian today.
It was a Thai.
😄 😄 😄
I don't believe in aliens... they lie too much.
😄 😄 😄
I watched a baseball game once, where the umpire kept wandering about and was eventually knocked out by a ball.
It was the fall of the roamin’ umpire.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a hot dog race?
Wiener takes all.
😄 😄 😄
Lawyer: “Everybody hates lawyers until they need one.”
Architect: “Everybody loves architects until they need one.”
😄 😄 😄
How was your ear operation?
Thursday.
😄 😄 😄
I recently heard about a study that said that all the so-called “brain foods” don’t actually help your brain at all. It’s all just pseudoscience.
Food for thought.
😄 😄 😄
I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted.
😄 😄 😄
How do flat Earthers travel the Earth?
On a plane.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a baby with a drum?
A baby boomer.
😄 😄 😄
Yo Mama so stupid she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
😄 😄 😄
NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
😄 😄 😄
