Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
Because she kept using a metal detector.
😄 😄 😄
I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, “Do you mind if I put some music on?”
I said, “Not at all.”
He said, “‘Kiss?’”
I said, “Let’s listen to the music first and see how we feel”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Donut.”
“Donut, who?”
“Donut worry, be happy!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Uranus.”
“Uranus, who?”
“Uranus is a gas giant.”
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What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
“I’M BREADY TO DIE!”
😄 😄 😄
Teachers deserve a lot of credit.
Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
😄 😄 😄
A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him.
“Father, father look,” the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly. “The Americans have gone to the moon.”
The farmer drops his plow and asks excitedly, “All of them?”
“No, just 3,” replies the kid.
“Damn it!” The father shakes his head in disappointment and goes back to the field.
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I’m going to take you out for a morning walk.
Whether you’re sleeping or not!
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
😄 😄 😄
Two scientists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O please.”
😄 😄 😄
What was the mermaid doing at the bottom of the sea?
She dropped out of school.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the red panda become an actor?
It had a panda-mic personality.
😄 😄 😄
“Good morning” is a contradiction of terms.
😄 😄 😄
To make mistakes is human.
To blame someone else for your problem, is strategic.
😄 😄 😄
Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at.
😄 😄 😄
What is Harry Potter’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
😄 😄 😄
Why is everyone so tired on April 1st?
Because they just finished a 31-day march.
😄 😄 😄
What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish?
Croaky bacon.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a Christian’s favorite flower?
Jesus Rose.
😄 😄 😄
Remember the guy who used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers?
He had to quit cold turkey.
😄 😄 😄
