Memo from Director-General to Manager:
Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.
As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the car park.
Staff should meet in the car park at ten to eleven when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse and giving some background information.
Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Department Head:
Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes.
For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.
The Director-General will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:
The Director-General will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse.
This is something that can not be seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:
Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the Director-General will eclipse the sun for two minutes.
This doesn’t happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staff:
Some staff will go to the car park today to see the Director-General disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen every day.
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Yo mama’s so ugly that they didn’t give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
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What do you call a group of union workers on Labor Day?
A day of rest-olution.
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You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
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How many general-relativity theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate space.
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How do you make a Chinese man no longer Asian?
Just spin him around in circles until he’s disoriented.
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Purple is my favorite color!
I like it more than blue and red combined.
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Why did the baker stop making donuts?
He got tired of the HOLE business.
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Doctor: “Who’s my next patient?”
Nurse: “Mr. Ghost.”
Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see right now.”
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An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip.
He notices there a machine with the indication: “Put a dollar in the slot and the machine will tell you who you are!”
Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and waits.
The machine suddenly sounds:
“You’re John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago.”
The man blacked out with the machine’s ability.
So, he decided to trick the machine.
He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot.
“You’re John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago,” says the machine.
“But it’s impossible!” screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine.
He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab.
Then, he did the same routine.
“You’re John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago.”
Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot.
“You’re John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you... lost the train!”
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What do you call a bison that is good at telling lies?
Bluffalo.
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What did the chef say to his staff on Labor Day?
“Let’s take a break and cook up some fun!”
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I just heard that the Dunkin’ Donuts in my area will initiate with a surcharge for coming in without wearing a mask.
They’re going to call it a cough fee.
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An actor I know fell through the floor recently.
It’s just a stage he was going through.
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Why did the Mallard fail as a comic?
His humor was too fowl.
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As long, you don’t have kids, your 30s are like your 20s, but with money.
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Why would marketers make good football players?
Because they’re good at “converting” opportunities.
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A group of ducks flew overhead in a V formation.
Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?
It has more ducks.
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Pepito tells his dad, “Dad I got a 10 in school today.”
Pepito’s father asks him delighted, “How wonderful, Pepito! In which area did you get that qualification?”
Pepito responds, “I got 5 in spelling and 5 in history.
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What do gymnasts use to season their food in June, July, and August?
Somersault.
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