Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, βDoes this taste funny to you?β
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I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light.
Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
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Note to self:
before baby-talking to the cat, make sure conference call has disconnected.
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Why do people go to Disneyland?
So they can get a little Goofy.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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How is OpenAI improving ChatGPT?
Bit by bit.
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The Oxford comma is necessary, critical and essential.
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An anteater walks into a bar.
βHaving a nice day?β asks the barman.
βNoooooooo, noooooo, noooooo!β says the anteater.
βWhy the long nos?β asks the barman.
βItβs always been like this,β says the anteater.
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When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
So if I show someone a shower, do I become a shower?
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Chuck Norris doesnβt use a vibrating toothbrush.
His plastic one trembles in fear.
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My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today.
Cleanup was a breeze.
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It has no life but it still dies, guess who?
A battery.
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I ordered that new auto part for you.
Itβs Honda way.
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I thought I saw a squirrel on the roof.
But it was just a roofingΒ nut.
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Why do white people not like playing UNO with Mexicans?
They take all the green cards.
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Golfer: βDo you think my game is improving?β
Caddy: βYes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.β
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My bank has a new feature where theyβll text you your bank balance. I think itβs pretty cool.
I just donβt think they should end the text with βLOLβ, though.
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First Pole: βKnock-Knock!β
Second Pole: βCome in!β
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You must love staying outdoors.
I hear plants make oxygen just for you.
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Why canβt you trust acupuncture specialists?
Theyβll always stab you in the back.
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