Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth?
It’s meteor.
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Chuck Norris was in a knife fight.
The knife lost.
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Why did the slave go to college?
To pick up his master’s degree.
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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Yo momma’s so hairy she looks like she has two Ewoks in a headlock.
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Why do hockey rinks have curved corners?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
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How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for his birthday?
He felt his presents!
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What do you call a snowman made of yellow snow?
The “inedible snowman”.
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What is Spider-Man’s favorite road?
Peter parkway.
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What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
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“Do you know the difference between a fly and an elephant?”
“No.”
“Wow! You’d better see somebody then.”
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Yo mamma’s so ugly Rancors look at her and go “Damn, dude, she’s UGLY!”.
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The house cleaner told me that she was going to start working from home, so she sent me a list of chores.
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If you think that no one cares you’re alive...
Just try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
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What makes a traffic jam better?
Adding peanut butter to it.
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How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?
They all have square eyes.
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Why are elephant’s noses so big?
So they can scratch their bums!
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Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one.
And the other two escaped with minor injuries.
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I’ve just bought a new pair of spider silk trousers.
They look great, but the flies keep getting stuck.
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What’s a blue shoe?
A shoe with the blues.
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