Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
😄 😄 😄
I was watching a movie when the screen started to emit blue light.
Guess this is one of the cons of watching movies on Blue Ray.
😄 😄 😄
Note to self:
before baby-talking to the cat, make sure conference call has disconnected.
😄 😄 😄
Why do people go to Disneyland?
So they can get a little Goofy.
😄 😄 😄
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
😄 😄 😄
How is OpenAI improving ChatGPT?
Bit by bit.
😄 😄 😄
The Oxford comma is necessary, critical and essential.
😄 😄 😄
An anteater walks into a bar.
“Having a nice day?” asks the barman.
“Noooooooo, noooooo, noooooo!” says the anteater.
“Why the long nos?” asks the barman.
“It’s always been like this,” says the anteater.
😄 😄 😄
When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
So if I show someone a shower, do I become a shower?
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris doesn’t use a vibrating toothbrush.
His plastic one trembles in fear.
😄 😄 😄
My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today.
Cleanup was a breeze.
😄 😄 😄
It has no life but it still dies, guess who?
A battery.
😄 😄 😄
I ordered that new auto part for you.
It’s Honda way.
😄 😄 😄
I thought I saw a squirrel on the roof.
But it was just a roofing nut.
😄 😄 😄
Why do white people not like playing UNO with Mexicans?
They take all the green cards.
😄 😄 😄
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
😄 😄 😄
My bank has a new feature where they’ll text you your bank balance. I think it’s pretty cool.
I just don’t think they should end the text with “LOL”, though.
😄 😄 😄
First Pole: “Knock-Knock!”
Second Pole: “Come in!”
😄 😄 😄
You must love staying outdoors.
I hear plants make oxygen just for you.
😄 😄 😄
Why can’t you trust acupuncture specialists?
They’ll always stab you in the back.
😄 😄 😄
