One snowman asks another, “How do you stay in such good shape?”
He answers, “All I do is set the hairdryer on high heat and pounds just melt away.”
😄 😄 😄
Where does a kangaroo go that can’t hop?
Hopspital.
😄 😄 😄
High five! Oops... I guess you’re now stuck with me.
😄 😄 😄
The policeman told me he was chasing a man with one leg.
I told him to use both, he would get him faster.
😄 😄 😄
Young actor: “Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.”
Father: “Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.”
😄 😄 😄
Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short person is smiling.
😄 😄 😄
A huge earthquake shook Mexico. Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
The USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the blue paint laugh at the brown paint?
Because he was blue-tiful.
😄 😄 😄
My favorite character in the wizard of oz is the scarecrow.
I mean, come on, it’s a no-brainer!
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high-end steakhouse market?
It was a Big Mcsteak.
😄 😄 😄
An elephant, a giraffe and a penguin walk in to a bar.
It’s at this point I realize that there is something wrong with my pint.
😄 😄 😄
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack.
Those damn moose limbs.
😄 😄 😄
My wife complained that I never take her to expensive places anymore.
So I took her to the gas station.
😄 😄 😄
Whenever autumn comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves.
It sounds better than saying I’m a street sweeper.
😄 😄 😄
What did the fancy bearded goat order at the café?
A goa-tea.
😄 😄 😄
Boomer to a Millennial: “Nothing in life is free.”
Also boomer to a Millennial: “The job doesn’t pay money, but it pays you in experience.”
😄 😄 😄
Co-pilot: “Why did you become a pilot?”
Pilot: “To overcome my greatest fear.”
Co-pilot: “Heights?”
Pilot: “No, dying alone.”
😄 😄 😄
You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Gopher.”
“Gopher, who?”
“Gopher me, obviously.”
😄 😄 😄
