Why can’t people in wheelchairs be looked at for too long?
They can’t handle stares.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the pirate cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Don.”
“Don, who?”
“Don be putting down the Irish now!”
😄 😄 😄
Oh my gourd, it’s already fall.
😄 😄 😄
My friend that only dates Asian girls just started dating his ex-girlfriend again.
And I don’t know if I should tell him.
😄 😄 😄
How did the roofing company become so successful?
They nailed it.
😄 😄 😄
The first commandment was... when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
😄 😄 😄
What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the sun feel so dizzy?
Because he felt light-headed.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the farthest planet humans can see with their naked eye?
Uranus.
😄 😄 😄
Joke’s on you, April Fools’ Day.
I can be fooled any day of the year.
😄 😄 😄
If Uranus was a comedian, it would always crack jokes with a little bit of gas.
😄 😄 😄
“Why don’t you want to taco about it?”
“Because I’m nacho friend anymore.”
😄 😄 😄
I complained to my math teacher that it was too cold in the classroom.
He told me to stand in the corner. Because the corner is 90 degrees.
😄 😄 😄
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s so fat Yoda couldn’t use the Force to move her.
😄 😄 😄
I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog.
After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasn’t good for dogs.
😄 😄 😄
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wa-Mart in a buggy.
Each time she put something in the basket, she would say “And here’s something for you, Diploma” or “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma” and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, “Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?”
The grandmother replied, “I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia, and this is what she came home with!”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the alien go off in his ship?
He needed some space
😄 😄 😄
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
😄 😄 😄
