What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A polar bear.
π π π
Who was the most successful Transgender and Transrace person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
π π π
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
π π π
Officer: βDo you know why I stopped you?β
Blonde: βBecause I didnβt pull out of the donut shop too fast?β
π π π
Recently, Iβve started teaching a poetry class in a maximum security prison.
Itβs a tough job, but I enjoy it.
It really has its prose and cons.
π π π
Did you hear about the fan who just bought Taylor Swiftβs hair comb in an online auction?
Itβs his closest brush with fame.
π π π
Whatβs worse than a box full of snakes?
A box that was SUPPOSED to be full of snakes.
π π π
Your mama so short she went under Trumpβs wallο»Ώ.
π π π
Iβm on medication for my PokΓ©mon Go addiction.
Gotacachemol.
π π π
Snake: βHisssss.β
Feminist Snake: βHerrrrrrr.β
π π π
They say today is Pi Day.
But for me, it will always be cake day!
π π π
Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βCereal.β
βCereal, who?β
βCereal-ously ready for breakfast!β
π π π
What do you call a fisherman who owns a slave?
A Master Baiter.
π π π
Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction!
Good morning!
π π π
Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because itβs easier than trying to wallpaper them!
π π π
I tried to organize my life like Pinterest.
But it ended up looking more like a messy DIY project.
π π π
How is April Foolsβ Day like a huge open mic night?
Millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.
π π π
Why do blueberries get along with everyone?
Theyβre naturally blue-tiful.
π π π
Why did the cops arrest the donut baker?
He was caught pinching the salt.
π π π
Iβd like to thank everyone who taught me the definition of βmanyβ.
It really means a lot.
π π π
