Why did the Java developer quit his job?
Because he didn’t get arrays.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Sue.”
“Sue, who?”
“Sue-prize it is your birthday!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Venice.”
“Venice, who?”
“Venice Halloween candy coming out?!”
😄 😄 😄
Good friends are like toasters.
If you throw them down the stairs, they probably won’t make toast for you anymore.
😄 😄 😄
Therapy patients are narcissists.
All they do is talk about their own problems.
😄 😄 😄
How is Teachers’ Day, a day of rest?
The rest of the laundry, the rest of the housework, and grading the rest of the papers.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the definition of Specimen?
An Italian astronaut.
😄 😄 😄
Forgot it’s April Fools’!
What’s the simplest way to really quickly get some friends, so I can prank them?
😄 😄 😄
It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home.
When the mosquito came back home later that day, his father asked, “How was your journey?”
The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!”
😄 😄 😄
Why was the burger sad?
Because he had the blue cheese.
😄 😄 😄
Don’t ever attend Thanksgiving with a group of comedians.
They’ll never stop roasting the turkey.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the developer use a credit card to buy all the gifts?
Becuase he had cleared all his cache.
😄 😄 😄
Yo daddy is so dumb when he jumps the fence, the gate was open.
😄 😄 😄
One night, after a long evening of drinking, Jim was thrown out of the bar as usual. On his way home, he spotted a nun walking down the road.
After looking at her twice, he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.
Some people passing by spotted this and called the police.
As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs, he looked back and shouted, “I thought you’d be tougher than that, Batman!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Howard.”
“Howard, who?”
“Howard you like to be fooled on April Fools’ Day?”
😄 😄 😄
It is hotter than jalapenos and spice on rye.
😄 😄 😄
The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidentally been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot.
They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered...
Neil before Zod.
😄 😄 😄
Scientists have discovered that crabs hear through their legs.
They said they yelled at a crab and it ran away.
Then they cut off its legs and yelled at it again. And this time the crab didn’t run away.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the bluebird get kicked out of the forest?
Because it was a bird of pray.
😄 😄 😄
An elderly woman went into the pharmacy. When the pharmacist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the pharmacist thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
The pharmacist thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night.”
😄 😄 😄
