What did the Mandalorian say about how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey?
ββ¦This is the way.β
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Your mama so stupid she put a watch in the piggy bank and said she was saving time.
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Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
βHere lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan.β
So, one of them asked the other: βWhen the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?β
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What is the difference between a Chelsea fan and a Battery?
A battery has a positive side.
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An ant approaches an elephant and asks, βWould you like to play?β
βSure,β replies the elephant.
βSo, whatβs your favorite game?β the ant inquires.
βSquash,β says the elephant.
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Patient: βDoctor, doctor! I see double!β
Doctor: βSit on the chair please.β
Patient: βWhich one?β
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Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
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Always a seasonal delight, today we will look at how to make a pumpkin roll:
Step 1. Get a pumpkin.
Step 2. Take your pumpkin to the top of a hill.
Step 3. Give it a little push.
Step 4. Enjoy.
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Why do some people not like a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys?
Because of fowl language.
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Girls say Iβm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala.
I can sleep for 22 hours in a row.
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Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic.
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What do Vikings call English villages?
Chopping centers.
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Why did the spaceship bring a snack to Uranus?
It wanted to have a gas-tro picnic.
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Whatβs Shrekβs favorite item of clothing?
An ogrecoat.
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What do you call a frozen frankfurter?
A chili dog.
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I decided to make a witty perfume.
My colleague said the most important component should be the scents of humor.
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Chuck Norris called 911 and asked if they needed help.
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I finally was chosen to pick toppings for the hot dogs!
I relished the opportunity!
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What is the difference between JosΓ© Mourinho and God?
God doesnβt think heβs JosΓ© Mourinho.
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Knock! Knock!
βWhoβs there?β
βOwl.β
βOwl, who?β
βOwl you know unless you open the door?β
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