Why did the bearded man decline the invitation to a charity event?
It was a fund razor.
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Yo mama’s ears are so big she can hear what I’m thinking.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Norma Lee.”
“Norma Lee, who?”
“Norma Lee I don’t eat this much!”
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Why do violists stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
They can’t find the key, and they don’t know when to come in.
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The high school music teacher was controversial for having his students read band books.
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Have you heard about the new trend?
People are putting baked goods on their ear studs.
It’s pie-on-earring fashion.
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What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
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Why did the blonde throw her doll on the grill?
She heard it was a Barbie-que.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Sue.”
“Sue, who?”
“Sue-prize! Happy Halloween!”
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What’s the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?
Annie Maniac.
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A man walks up to the pearly gates.
Saint Peter asks, “How did you get here?”
The man answers, “Flu.”
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What do you call a single kernel of corn?
A uni-corn.
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So apparently, everyone on my husband’s Zoom work call finds my singing distracting.
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The only reason you don’t stress out about anything is because you’re always asleep.
Get up and feel the world. A little bit won’t hurt you.
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My 2 year old sister’s stinky feet were smelling like cheese.
My dad was wondering what happened, so I told him that she had chee-toes.
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The cast of The Wizard of Oz go out for ice cream.
The Lion stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
The Tinman stops licking his cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping his temples.
Dorothy stops licking her cone, yelling, “Ouch!” and gripping her temples.
The Scarecrow says, “What’s the matter with you guys?”
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I’ll just say “morning” because a good morning would be much later on a Saturday.
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Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high-end steakhouse market?
It was a Big Mcsteak.
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You’re so fat you can’t even see your own feet.
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What language is anatomy in?
Body language.
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