What do you call an annoyed lobster?
A frustacean.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Oakham.”
“Oakham, who?”
“Oakham all ye faithful…”
😄 😄 😄
I bought a gold-scented candle and burned it.
It had a very rich aroma.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so cold, I chipped my tooth on my soup.
😄 😄 😄
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition.
This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
😄 😄 😄
How many Mcdonald’s workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they can’t climb the ladder.
😄 😄 😄
The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, a cranberry juice and some lemonade with a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a punch.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says “Expired”.
😄 😄 😄
A blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the blue alien that landed on Earth?
He had an out of this world.
😄 😄 😄
What sort of racehorses come out after dark?
Night-mares.
😄 😄 😄
One day the queen wanted a haircut.
No barber in England would do it. Why?
God shave the Queen.
😄 😄 😄
Student: “Teacher, is it true that if you get married on Friday the 13th, you will be unhappy?“
Teacher: “Of course. Why should that day be an exception?”
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so ugly Instagram tagged her selfies “explicit content’.
😄 😄 😄
A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday.
After the egg hunt, he sneaks into the chicken coop and replaces every white egg with a brightly colored one.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in.
He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so flatulent that she forced the sand people out of a single file.
😄 😄 😄
I went to a party in blue shoes.
But everyone said it was a blue-sy idea.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Figs.”
“Figs, who?”
“Figs the doorbell, it’s not working lazy bones!
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Luke.”
“Luke, who?”
“Luke out, I’m about to fart!”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?
Vader Tots.
😄 😄 😄
