What did the snowman say to the birthday girl?
Have an ice day!
😄 😄 😄
If anyone has no family and will be alone on Thanksgiving, please let me know.
I really need to borrow some chairs from you.
😄 😄 😄
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle their funny bones.
😄 😄 😄
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It’s got a lot of Greece in it.
😄 😄 😄
Where does a kangaroo go that can’t hop?
Hopspital.
😄 😄 😄
Arnold Schwarzenegger no longer kills people and now only kills bugs.
He’s an exterminator.
😄 😄 😄
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?
A watermelon.
😄 😄 😄
Do you like Mexican food? Because I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-rito.
😄 😄 😄
What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?
The Exterminator.
😄 😄 😄
Why hasn’t anyone ever seen ghost poop?
Because it’s invisible.
😄 😄 😄
What did the Rams fan do when his team won the Super Bowl?
He turned off his XBox.
😄 😄 😄
I sued the airport the other day because they didn’t want to give me my luggage.
Guess what, I lost the case.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot out that I walked through a car wash to remember what rain felt like.
😄 😄 😄
Once there was a bear with no ears, guess what they call it?
A “B”.
😄 😄 😄
There is a beaver in our local zoo who is quite the celebrity. His name is Clint.
Clint EatsWood.
😄 😄 😄
What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing, they’re already stuffed.
😄 😄 😄
Which one of Santa’s helpers visits mermaids?
The Elf on the Shelfish.
😄 😄 😄
How do you keep a violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
😄 😄 😄
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won’t admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.
While she’s standing at the sink, he stands about six steps behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, dear?”
When there’s no answer, he steps a few steps closer and repeats the question.
Again there’s no response, so he moves right to his wife’s shoulder and asks, “What’s for dinner, dear?”
At this, his wife turns around angrily and says, “For the third time, sausages!”
😄 😄 😄
