Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yolk!
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Where did Vegeta go after death?
Into the Frieza.
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Baby Yoda’s first word...
Probably came after his second word.
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What did the American hot dog say to the German hot dog?
You’re the wurst.
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What do you call Harry when he’s in a rush?
Hurry Styles.
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I tried to dye my dog’s hair blue.
But I guess he was blue-ish.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Yoda.”
“Yoda, who?”
“Yoda one getting older today!”
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The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
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Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system but quit after Uranus...
They found it to be a poophole.
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What made the pig go to the kitchen?
Because he felt like bacon.
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Your mama’s so short that when I was dissin’ her she tried to jump kick me in the ankle.
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One fine day, brave Captain Smith and his crew of sailors were sailing the ocean blue.
Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull and crossbones raised on the mast.
The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do.
Brave Captain Smith looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said, “Bring me my red shirt.”
The call was taken up at once by a cabin boy. As soon as Captain Smith had the shirt in his possession, he ordered the man at the wheel to head straight for the pirate ship. In the ensuing fight, the pirate ship was all but destroyed.
The sailors were recounting their individual triumphs afterward when someone asked Captain Smith why he had asked for his red shirt before the battle.
He responded, “If I was wounded, I did not want your confidence to wane. This way, you would keep fighting no matter what happened to me.”
The crew had a newfound admiration for its captain, and they talked all night about his bravery.
About a week later, there loomed on the horizon 10 pirate ships. Once again, the crew looked to its captain for leadership. Calmly, Captain Smith said, “Boys, bring me my brown pants!”
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Remember Dexter, who was going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson?
Not sure which race yet.
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How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?
They all have square eyes.
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Today’s working from home tip:
Blowing on the wine in the mug will help convince your Zoom meeting that your tea is hot.
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Why did the redneck get colored pencils before he got his flu shot?
He heard that vaccines can make you artistic.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Annie.”
“Annie, who?”
“Annie body seen the turkey?”
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, “Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?”
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
“No,” says the man, “I wanted a normal KitKat, fatty.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the optimistic electrician lose his job?
He kept on turning negatives into positives.
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