Have you heard about the new game getting released?
It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, the graphics are truly real life, it has an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible.
It’s called “Go outside and ride your bike!”.
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This culture of inclusiveness is getting out of hand.
I mean, even Jurassic Park engineered a Trannysaurus Rex.
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What is the moon’s favorite type of cheese?
Moon-zerella cheese!
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My Papa was a World War 2 Navy veteran, and he used to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death.
He shot the cook.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Turnip.”
“Turnip, who?”
“Turnip the radio, please!”
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Rise, shine, and try not to spill your coffee. Life’s too short for bad coffee.
Cheers to a spill-tacular day!
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I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
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I decided to make a witty perfume.
My colleague said the most important component should be the scents of humor.
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You’re gourdgeous!
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There is a beaver in our local zoo who is quite the celebrity. His name is Clint.
Clint EatsWood.
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What’s a neckbeard’s favorite thing to put on toast?
Marm’lady.
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Yo mama’s so fat that if she was thrown into the second Death Star’s reactor core, she could have blown up the entire Imperial fleet.
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What’s the difference between an asteroid and a hemorrhoid?
Asteroids come from the asteroid belt between Jupiter and Mars.
Hemorrhoids come from somewhere near Uranus.
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Chuck Norris can punch you in the back of the face.
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How do you know you’re old?
It’s your birthday, and there are more candles than cake.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Owl.”
“Owl, who?”
“Owl be there soon!”
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It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
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Why is math said to be a codependent?
It relies on others to solve its problems.
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I used to be the drummer in a progressive 80s rock band called Prevention.
We were better than The Cure.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck’s gift and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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