Yo mama so stupid she made an appointment with Dr Pepper.
π π π
A man goes to an ice cream stall in Siberia.
The owner asks, βWhich type of ice cream? The ice cream from the freezer, or the ice cream on the display cabinet?β
The man replies, βThe one in the freezer, Iβm pretty sure itβs warmer in there.β
π π π
They said pooping is a call of nature.
So is farting a missed call?
π π π
Yo mamma so hairy that Han Solo mistaken her for Chewbackaο»Ώ.
π π π
What happens to corny jokesters who get jailed on April Foolsβ Day?
They go to the pun-itentiary.
π π π
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
π π π
Youβre so ugly...
You are the reason Star Wars takes place in a galaxy far far away!
π π π
How many Twitter users does it take to change a lightbulb?
30. One to change the bulb, and 29 to cancel it for being brighter than they are.
π π π
Cop Cuisine Point to Ponder:
Do cops like doughnuts better when theyβre spelled Do-Nuts?
π π π
Whatβs the definition of an optimist?
A bassist player with a mortgage.
π π π
What goes βOh, Oh, Ohβ?
Santa walking backwards!
π π π
Why did Uranus become a rock star?
Because itβs always surrounded by gas.
π π π
What do you say when someone dies between February 19th and March 20th?
Rest in Pisces.
π π π
What is a carnivoreβs favorite bumper sticker for their car?
βI love animals. They taste great.β
π π π
A blonde works in a petrol station filling up cars.
One day, a spaceship with βUFOβ written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flies off.
The blondeβs boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
βDo you know what βUFOβ stands for?β He asks.
βOf course.β She replies, βUnleaded Fuel Only.β
π π π
I am sweating like an ice cream cone under a heat lamp.
π π π
What did people say when the headless horseman started dating a zombie?
Heβs lost his head!
π π π
Husband: βWhatβs your most hated part of the English language?β
Wife: βThe singular second person personal pronoun.β
Husband: βWhat?β
Wife: βYOU.β
π π π
Yo mommaβs so fat Yoda couldnβt use the Force to move her.
π π π
Why did the Java developer quit his job?
Because he didnβt get arrays.
π π π
