My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
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Yo mama’s so fat that she caused Kamino to flood when her water broke.
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What do an insurance policy and a woman have in common?
They are both expensive, difficult to understand, and what you get is not guaranteed.
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Apparently NASA are extremely tired of all of the jokes that are made about Uranus so they decided to rename it to Urectum.
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Your mama so stupid she put a watch in the piggy bank and said she was saving time.
😄 😄 😄
How many people can you fit in one Honda?
Well, the Bible said that all 12 disciples were in one Accord.
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Why should you always be kind to registered nurses?
Remember that they choose your catheter size.
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Yo mama so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ken.”
“Ken, who?”
“Ken you please loan me some money?”
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A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.
The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read MAIN ENTRANCE.
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Went to a party on the moon once.
Didn’t really like it, no atmosphere.
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Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
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What room has no doors, walls, or floor?
A mushroom.
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Where does Vin go after eating a really hot curry?
Da loo.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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Why are beards so polite?
Because they’re well-groomed.
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Why did the moon get a parking ticket?
They forgot to pay the parking meteor!
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The taller you are, the harder you’ll fall.
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A rabbit walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
The pharmacist, surprised, responds, “No, this is a pharmacy.”
The rabbit leaves only to return the next day and ask the same question.
This time, the man responds, “As I said before, no. Go to a grocery store.”
Again, the rabbit leaves and returns the following day with the same question.
Annoyed, the pharmacist says, “Look, rabbit, for the last time, we do not sell carrots. If you ask this once more, I swear I will punch you in the face.”
On the next day, the rabbit returns and asks, “Do you sell carrots?”
Furious, the pharmacist punches the rabbit so hard that its teeth get completely shattered.
The rabbit leaves... and comes back the next day,
“Do ya seh cahot juys?”
😄 😄 😄
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
😄 😄 😄
