What’s my blood type?
Pumpkin spice!
😄 😄 😄
What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave?
Then her name would be mozarella.
😄 😄 😄
What is the best college to apply to learn about solar radiation?
U.V. Ray.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Yoda.”
“Yoda, who?”
“Yoda one getting older today!”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a dog in August?
A hot dog.
😄 😄 😄
If you get an email starting with Knock Knock don’t open it.
It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home.
😄 😄 😄
Why didn’t the skeleton go see the scary movie?
He didn’t have the guts.
😄 😄 😄
I can’t believe my parents support my choice of profession.
I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian and they laughed at me!
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat she wears two watches, one for each time zone she’s in.
😄 😄 😄
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
😄 😄 😄
Why is Minecraft so popular with kids?
Because they love to hang out on corners.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a fasting camel?
Hump-less.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama so fat she pooped out the Death Star!
😄 😄 😄
Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
😄 😄 😄
April 5th. National Read a Map Day.
Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards.
I thought to myself, “That’s just spam.”
😄 😄 😄
How does an attorney sleep?
First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
😄 😄 😄
A statistician told a friend that he never took airplanes, “I have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on the plane,” he explained, “and although this probability is low, it is still too high for my comfort.”
Two weeks later, the friend met the statistician on a plane.
“How come you changed your theory?” he asked.
“Oh, I didn’t change my theory, it’s just that I subsequently computed the probability that there would simultaneously be two bombs on a plane. This probability is low enough for my comfort. So now I simply carry my own bomb.”
😄 😄 😄
Two corns in a field were telling each other corny jokes.
They were the laughing stalk of the field.
😄 😄 😄
A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called?
A shell-ebrity.
😄 😄 😄
I bought a life-size 3D model of plankton from SpongeBob.
4 days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap.
I still don’t know where plankton is.
😄 😄 😄
