A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port in France and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places.
“Oui, monsieur. What is the destination port for this load?”
“I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil.”
“Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal?”
“Why is that, sir?”
“If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese, of course!”
😄 😄 😄
What to give a man who’s got everything?
A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the Roblox player go to the gym?
To work on their block-abs.
😄 😄 😄
I’ve invented a solar-powered still!
It turns sunshine into moonshine.
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
😄 😄 😄
Some local engineers took a train for a service.
But the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a streetcar that plays pranks on people?
A troll-ey.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so fat I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
😄 😄 😄
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Quick, jump out the window,” she says to him.
“What???” the guy says. “We’re on the 13th floor!”
She says, “Just jump, this is no time to be superstitious!”
😄 😄 😄
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
😄 😄 😄
I went to lunch with a champion chess player.
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt.
😄 😄 😄
Why do polar bears only live at the North Pole?
Because if they also lived at the South Pole, they would be bipolar bears.
😄 😄 😄
Why does Australia have so many customer service representatives?
Because they offer koalaity service.
😄 😄 😄
This culture of inclusiveness is getting out of hand.
I mean, even Jurassic Park engineered a Trannysaurus Rex.
😄 😄 😄
What would you hear at a very long opera about aliens?
Aria 51.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle?
A tire.
😄 😄 😄
The moon gets a little more chilly in September, time to put on its harvest!
😄 😄 😄
What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
“Cactus if you can!”
😄 😄 😄
I just saw this guy going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbit’s feet.
I thought he’s pushing his luck!
😄 😄 😄
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling.
It’s a gnocchia.
😄 😄 😄
