Hot dog, it’s your birthday!
Let’s be Frank, you’re probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead – don’t be a weenie!
Relish every moment of your celebration!
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What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
Aerial.
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What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday!
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What happens if you combine a vampire and a snowman?
You get frostbite.
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An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy.
After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him.
After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.
The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they throw him a party and make him a chocolate cake with orange icing.
The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.”
“My God,” says his mother. “You can speak?”
To which the German boy replies, “Of course.”
“How come you’ve never spoken before?” asks his father.
“Well,” says the boy, “up until now, everything has been satisfactory.”
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What did one German man say to the other German man?
I have no idea, I can’t speak German.
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
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Why are colds bad criminals?
Because they’re easy to catch.
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I broke my glasses and couldn’t see anything.
But then I realized it was just a broken spectacle illusion.
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What are a prisoner’s favorite building materials?
Steal and cement.
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You’re so short that you can save on rent by living in a doll’s house.
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What did the first person to get April fooled say?
“Jesus! I thought you were dead!”
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My boss told me that work might be a little blue today.
But I didn’t know that meant the copiers were taking the day off.
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Feel free to use me as a bad example.
That way, I won’t be totally useless.
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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tai Wan Shu.
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What type of brief packs a punch?
A boxer brief.
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Gopher.”
“Gopher, who?”
“Gopher me, obviously.”
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Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ice cream.”
“Ice cream, who?”
“Ice cream every time I see a ghost!”
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Why do diabetics always have nightmares?
They can’t have sweet dreams.
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What is Yoda’s preferred seat on an aeroplane?
Next to a Windu.
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