Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with.
😄 😄 😄
I invited a blind bingo caller to my dinner party.
He’s not a close friend, he’s just there to make up the numbers.
😄 😄 😄
It is so hot that potatoes cook underground.
😄 😄 😄
My wife asked me, “Why are there holes in your pants?”
I said, “It’s Sunday, right?”
My wife: “Yeah?”
Me: “Well, these are my holy pants.”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was on a roll.
😄 😄 😄
Are you Wi-Fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the difference between UFOs and an honest politician?
It is possible that UFOs exist.
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Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said “a mosquito”.
😄 😄 😄
What’s an alien’s favorite chocolate bar?
A mars bar!
😄 😄 😄
What do feminists say at the end of their prayers?
Awomen.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a fire at the Internet café?
An e-mergency.
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an Arabic dairy farmer?
A milk sheikh.
😄 😄 😄
My dad once told me that it is not the size of the nose that matters but what is inside it.
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Why did the real estate agent fail to sell the house next to a horse stable?
Because his clients were worried about the neigh-bors.
😄 😄 😄
When the student asked the history teacher what questions would be there for the history exam, she answered “The past”.
😄 😄 😄
I’m writing a book about reverse psychology.
Please don’t buy it.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the cat like eating lemons?
Because he was a sourpuss.
😄 😄 😄
Is your name Google?
Because you have everything I’m searching for.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the blood-sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic.
😄 😄 😄
It’s so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
😄 😄 😄
