Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.
The question they’re all asked is, “What’s 2+2?”
The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.”
The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll make it 5 just to be safe.”
The Economics graduate locks the door behind him, closes the curtains over the windows, and finally whispers, “How much do you want it to be?”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Candice.”
“Candice, who?”
“Candice be the birthday cake? I’m starving!”
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Ostrich.”
“Ostrich, who?”
“Ostrich as far as I can, but I still can’t reach the doorbell.”
😄 😄 😄
Yo momma’s so big when she tripped in Mos Eisley she landed in Mos Espa.
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father—who was a minister—if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, “Son, I’m really proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes, son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
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I’m thinking of switching my major to geology.
I think I’d do well because I keep discovering a new rock bottom.
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What’s the best thing to put on a hot dog?
Water, to cool him down.
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With a forehead like yours, Dora would get lost exploring it.
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Did you hear about the American Indian who died from drinking too much tea?
He drowned in his own tepee.
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I just signed up for the new college course about the effects of drinking soda on the body.
Anatomy and Fizzyology.
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What do you get when you cross a turtle and an alpaca?
A turtleneck sweater.
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Yo mom so stupid she starved an illithid.
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As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme.
They stopped building monuments immediately.
😄 😄 😄
I told my dad I couldn’t believe I’d failed my biology exam.
He said, “I’m your mum!”
😄 😄 😄
Two Karens are out for lunch.
The waiter approaches them and asks, “Is anything OK?”
😄 😄 😄
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“I eat mop.”
“I eat mop, who?”
“That’s revolting!”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the dog pour nacho cheese over people’s feet?
He wanted Dori-toes.
😄 😄 😄
So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, this is a singles bar.”
😄 😄 😄
What’s a mountain goat’s favorite name?
Cliff.
😄 😄 😄
