How many Sith Lords does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they prefer it a little on the dark side.
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about the happy asteroid?
It was over the moon!
😄 😄 😄
I’m making a comic book about a superhero toilet.
“Billionaire Bidet, Crime Fighter by Night”
😄 😄 😄
Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One had a Cross in front of him; the other one was holding the Star of David.
Many people went by, looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.
The Pope came by. He stopped to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who held the Cross while none gave to the beggar holding the Star of David. He felt sorry for him.
Finally, the Pope approached the beggar with the Star of David and said. “My poor fellow, don’t you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren’t going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you’re sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite!”
The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, turned to the beggar with the Cross, and said. “Moishe, would you look who’s trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing?”
😄 😄 😄
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
😄 😄 😄
I was going to smoke a turkey this Thanksgiving.
But they banned flavored vapes.
😄 😄 😄
Which ankle did Spider-Man twist after tripping on the curb?
Ankle Ben.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the registered nurse bring a ladder to work?
To take care of high blood pressure.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the most common disease in HR departments?
Staff infections.
😄 😄 😄
What excuse did the bowler give when he was accused of stealing?
“I was framed!”
😄 😄 😄
Did you hear about Chewbacca’s first year as a major league baseball player?
It was so successful that they named him Wookie of the Year.
😄 😄 😄
My bank has a new feature where they’ll text you your bank balance. I think it’s pretty cool.
I just don’t think they should end the text with “LOL”, though.
😄 😄 😄
What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
“Cactus if you can!”
😄 😄 😄
Losing a wife can be very tough.
Some may even say impossible.
😄 😄 😄
I bent down in a bar.
“Excuse me,” said the girl next to me, “Are you looking up my skirt?”
I said, “No, no I’m tying my shoelace.”
She said, “You’re wearing Crocs.”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call an Irish guy coming back with more cakes?
Flanagan.
😄 😄 😄
I tried to post my opinion on mushrooms.
But it was a shii-take!
😄 😄 😄
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
😄 😄 😄
What drink breaks the ice?
Flirt-Tea.
😄 😄 😄
You so dumb every time you do a fartlek, you say “excuse me”.
😄 😄 😄
