Yesterday, I painted half of my face like a clown and went for a drive.
I don’t think anyone saw the funny side.
😄 😄 😄
What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary?
Get married on his birthday!
😄 😄 😄
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
😄 😄 😄
Why did the dog pour nacho cheese over people’s feet?
He wanted Dori-toes.
😄 😄 😄
Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes?
Because she can’t hear them anyway!
😄 😄 😄
Knock! Knock!
“Who’s there?”
“Egg.”
“Egg, who?”
“Egg-cited for breakfast?”
😄 😄 😄
What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
Aerial.
😄 😄 😄
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
😄 😄 😄
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn’y ache.
😄 😄 😄
Why is North Korea so good at geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler!
😄 😄 😄
A man gives flowers to everyone in his family.
To his wife he gives roses.
To his parents he gives orchids.
To his daughters he gives daisies.
And to his sons he gives sunflowers.
😄 😄 😄
Yo mama’s so ugly that they didn’t give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
😄 😄 😄
How is OpenAI improving ChatGPT?
Bit by bit.
😄 😄 😄
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband. “I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
😄 😄 😄
What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
Toot-and-come-in.
😄 😄 😄
What’s a dragon’s favorite snack?
Fire-crackers.
😄 😄 😄
How did the cowboy save so much money?
His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.
😄 😄 😄
What is the favorite fruit of feminists?
Mangoes.
😄 😄 😄
What do peanuts wear on their feet?
Cashews.
😄 😄 😄
You’re so fat the only thing to compare you to is an elephant.
😄 😄 😄
